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Mariah Carey Has Officially Thawed Out For Christmas And Personally I Think She's Jumping The Gun

Look, I love Christmas just as much as the next Diva. Skipping Thanksgiving completely doesn't sound SO bad, and I know our girl Mariah loves to move this thaw out up earlier and earlier every year. Last year she thawed the day after Halloween, too, and I thought "huh, okay, Thanksgiving the 'day' is kind of ridiculous (and of course the holiday is basically cancelled in theory at this point outside of turkey and football), but I enjoy the 'Friendsgiving' season! I enjoy the fall! The leaves have barely changed in NYC!"

While I show the utmost respect to our Queen, I think she needs to chill TF out (a little longer.) I don't want to start thinking about snow, red and green yet! If Christmas music starts playing right now, I'll be SUPER fucking sick of it by actual Christmas. I still have my annual trip to Wine Country for my own personal Friendsgiving coming up! I won't be wearing a red velour dress amongst the vines! How embarrassing would that be!

The flip side here, is that the next available, logical date for this to happen is obviously December 1st. December has always been bent over by Christmas and a 12/1 start would really pack a punch, full steam ahead on Jesus Christ's birthday. The problem I have with that? DECEMBER FIRST IS MY BIRTHDAY. I also don't want to be forced to celebrate the Holiday season/someone else's birthday on MY birthday! That's half the reason I go to wine country right before! I want a little shine in between two of the massive Hallmark holidays! OF COURSE I want to break out my tree and all of the warm lighting that comes with it, but I only just found time to put up my Halloween bats and Harry Potter floating candles last week! I love my bats! 

So, dear readers, I am in a pickle. I don't want to be a Grinch, but I don't want Mariah rushing the year to a close on us. I've grown very fond of 2023, despite all of the turmoil on the planet and never ending news cycle of death. I want to savor November. I want to keep listening to the sad, moody bullshit I usually do when the skies are gray but the leaves are orange. GIVE ME MY TIME TO BROOD, MARIAH! The Christmas Spirit can wait.