There's No Bigger Hell On Earth Situation To Find Yourself In Than Getting Paired With Antonio Brown On The Golf Course
Imagine this for a moment--you've been playing some dog shit golf over the past few weeks, but you feel like you're finally about to turn things around. You've watched all the YouTube videos, you figured something out with your swing, and you're ready to put it to the test. You head into the round with an actual game plan. You're going to focus on your tempo, do your best to not compound mistakes, and just focus on making pars out there instead of constantly hunting birdies that turn into doubles. You get to the course early enough to dial in the swing on the range, you get up to the first tee box, and this is who you get paired with...
I'd have to drown myself in the first water hazard.
And you know what? I don't even know if I'd be mad at Antonio Brown for this. If anything, I'm fucking furious at the current status of golf Instagram and Tik Tok for enabling this type of bullshit behavior on the course. Guys like "Snappy Gilmore", the DOD King, and Riggs. All these jabronis who have created this culture of folks showing up to the golf course to play the most asinine golf swing you ever did see, just so they can get some likes on social media.
Don't get me wrong, Antonio Brown is a jackass and, by all accounts, a very bad person. But he's also legitimately insane. But without these heathens on social media, Antonio Brown doesn't show up to the golf course to take 9 inches of earth out of the course with a gigantic one-handed hack at the ball. You think Antonio Brown is replacing his divots? You think he's filling that in with the sand mix? Not a fucking chance. This course is going to be filled with craters all over the place, and we have nobody but CTE and social media to blame.