Why Is The Diamondbacks Mascot A Bobcat? The Reason Isn't Stupid At All

If you were watching Game 4 of the NLCS between the Diamondbacks & Phillies last night, you probably had this question: "Why is James Corden dancing on top of the Diamondbacks dugout wearing his Bustopher Jones costume from Cats the Musical?" Did he take up mascotting during the writers strike? Did he drag his ball sack across another waiter's face and get sentenced to community service? Nope. Contrary to their uncanny resemblance, that's not James Corden at all. He's being terrible elsewhere. That's long time Arizona Diamondbacks mascot D. Baxter Bobcat.

Christian Petersen. Getty Images.

Many people online have asked the obvious question, "Does D. Baxter Bobcat fuck?". The answer to that is yes, whether you like it or not.

Christian Petersen. Getty Images.

Additionally, people seem to think it's "strange" that the Arizona Diamondbacks, a team named after a venomous rattlesnake, would have a furry bobcat man as their mascot. As hilarious as it would be for the Diamondbacks to put a man into an armless, legless snake costume and force him to slither around the stadium for 3 hours every night, that's just not feasible. Plus, if you use your brain, the reason for D. Baxter Bobcat is obvious. 

Back in 2000, the Diamondbacks needed a mascot. After long nights in the boardroom trying to cook up a snake costume that didn't completely suck, team President Rich Dozer was ready to throw in the towel. That's when a small child came to the rescue. The small child was Brantley Bell, son of Diamondbacks' shortstop Jay Ball. Brantley said, "We should have a bobcat as our mascot, because we play at Bank One Ballpark. Get it, like the initials B.O.B. And BOB is the first half of the word BOBcat?". 

Rich Dozer (who gets paid a large amount of money to make decisions for a billion dollar organization) said, "Sure, why the hell not", and D. Baxter Bobcat was born..

Is that the stupidest fucking thing you've ever heard? Of course not. It's brilliant. Is it made even stupider by the fact that the Diamondbacks no longer play at Bank One Ballpark, and their stadium is now called Chase Field? Nope, that's not dumb either. What does the D stand for? I'm assuming Diamond. Everything about D. Baxter Bobcat makes perfect sense.

It was so not dumb, that the following season the Arizona Diamondbacks won the World Series in just their 4th year as a franchise. Ever since, D. Baxter Bobcat has been patrolling the grounds of Bank One Ballpark (now Chase Field), leading the Diamondbacks to victory, and haunting the dreams of every small child he makes eye contact with. D. Baxter has skyrocketed up the mascot power rankings this week, and it's only a matter of time before he becomes a household name.

P.S. D. Baxter, if you're reading this, don't let the fame get to your head and decide to start tweeting. I see you have a Twitter account already. What you're doing right now is great. A few tweets a month is harmless. But please don't decide to turn into Blooper. Nobody wants another Blooper.