Fact: Ohio State Is Going To Kick The Shit Out Of Penn State Today

Let’s not beat around the bush here: Ohio State is going to wax these fucking bums in front of the entire country’s eyeballs. And I can’t even believe I woke up early this morning to blog this, or that I paid actual dollars to attend this game. I have been duped by the fake news media into thinking this is a big game. But I guess I’m not too mad about it. There’s really only one, sometimes two games a year that actually get my blood flowing anymore. So while this is likely to be out 5th biggest game of the season when it’s all said and done, I’m glad we all get to head down to old Columbus town and drink til we wobble in our shoes.

But the fact of the matter is that I am not nervous at all. Ohio State has the better offense, the better defense, the better coach, and we’re at home. I simply do not see a way in which Penn State comes into this stadium and wins this game today. And the reason I can’t see it happening is because I’ve literally never seen it happen. Are we on the same page that Ohio State has won 10 of the last 11 against these clowns?

I’ve got 7th graders in class that think Penn State is a mid major! And that honestly makes me sad. There was a time where you could utter Penn State and Ohio State in the same sentence, but we are no longer in the same paragraph….

I keep hearing about this elite defense they have, but who have they played? Certainly not the Notre Dames and Marylands of the world. And this quarterback, don’t get me started. Does he have a good arm? Yes, I saw him in high school. Kids talented, but he doesn’t have it between the ears. You know how I know that? Because he chose PENN STATE. I understand that they recruited him from the beginning, but when big daddy Ryan Day made the call and asked if he wanted to flip, he said no? Love that he’s the decision maker on the other team today. Welcome home to Ohio, Drew. I hammered you over INT prop and your under yard total.

Again, I am not nervous at all. One person that should be nervous though is corny James Franklin. Is this not the biggest game of his career? And if it is, I like our odds if he’s on the other sidelines….

Sheesh. I hope he’s locked the fuck in. But after further review, HE’S NOT! Mind on other things!

Buddy is staying in Columbus and helicoptering to Olentangy? What a fucking douche. All about him! Look at me!

I love this matchup so much. We take on the world literally every single week, but today, all we have to do is beat Penn State?