Alix Earle Thought She Contracted An STD From A Mechanical Bull

Page Six - Alix Earle once thought she contracted a “bull riding STD” after mounting a mechanical bull at a college party.

The following day, Earle was bathing in her dorm’s communal showers when she noticed several bumps on her leg. 

“My mind immediately flashes to an STD,” the TikToker said.

She explained that when she was in high school, a friend had told her about “a girl she knew [who] went to a bar [and] rode a mechanical bull” while wearing shorts.

“She got an STD situation all over her legs,” Earle remembered her pal telling her. “So I look at my legs and I’m like, ‘Oh my god, I have the bull riding STD.'”

The New Jersey-born influencer, who is rumored to be dating NFL player Braxton Berrios, eventually revealed she had simply suffered “bull burn from the tailgate.”

I'm not going to call Alix Earle stupid for this. I know contracting an STD from fake bull riding sounds very stupid. But I can 100% relate to her in this case. In college I mistakenly thought I contracted an STD from riding an unprotected woman. I went to the hospital and everything. The doctor's ran the tests, and a couple days later they gave me a call and told me I was clean. I asked my friend, "If I'm clean, then why did it burn when I peed?" My buddy assured me that I simply had a classic case of "dirt dick". I have no idea what he meant by that, but it was a better explanation than my doctor provided so that's what I choose to believe. Thanks Mikey. 

So... Alix Earle had "bull burn"... I had "dirt dick"... You can see parallels in our stories. If I ever meet Alix I'll have the perfect conversation starter.

But who among us hasn't mistakenly thought they've contracted an STD at some point in their lives? And to be especially fair to Alix Earle, I don't think there's a disease in the world that can't be contracted through a mechanical bull at a University of Miami tailgate. If you'd have told me COVID was NOT started by a man in Wuhan who ate bat sushi, and instead originated from a mechanical bull in Florida that hadn't been washed in 3 decades, I'd fully believe that. If a year from now we learn that mechanical bulls are responsible for a new super-virus called "rodeo fever", and it wreaks havoc across the United States, I'd say, "Yes, we should have seen this coming." 

So I'm not going to shame Alix Earle for thinking she got an STD from bull riding. I know you're only supposed to contract STD's through "actual sex", but I'm convinced skin to fur contact with a heavily used mechanical bull is equally risky, if not riskier, than going shaft deep in a pozzed up Matthew McConoughey from Dallas Buyer's Club.

You were right to be concerned, Alix. Here's to your clean bill of health.