Breakfast Food is Bullshit

I got a lot of strange looks this morning as my co-workers passed by me on their way into the office.  "aRe YoU eaTiNg cHicKen WiNGs fOr bReAkFAsT?!?!".

No KenJac, I just bought these fresh delicious chicken wings to decorate my desk. Yes I'm eating them for breakfast. If I'm not supposed to eat chicken wings for breakfast, then why does Metro Cafe have them readily available at 9am on a silver platter underneath a heat lamp? You can find them right next to the mashed potatoes. If I wasn't being a coward I would have gotten the mashed potatoes too. The only reason I didn't is because society has bullied me into thinking that mashed potatoes "aren't allowed" to be eaten before 11am. People will look you dead in the eye and say, "Mashed potatoes in the morning? What are you a serial killer?", as they double fist McDonald's hashbrowns. The gall.

Who's the King of Breakfast that decided only certain foods aren't allowed to be eaten at certain times of the day? Not only did he needlessly segregate the foods, he allotted the worst foods to the morning. This is probably where I'm going to lose a majority of you, but breakfast food stinks out load. 90% of it is just eggs. Breakfast sausage and bacon are the worst of the meats. If you want bread in the morning, it better be the driest form of bread you can possibly find. The only thing breakfast has going for it is syrup, and people cover their entire meals in it just to make the food enjoyable. 

I will say, I think society is starting to come around. I received an overwhelming amount of support in the replies to my breakfast chicken wings picture this morning. People seem to finally be getting fed up with breakfast's shit. 

There's just no reason for it. Restaurants are slowly starting to come around as well. There are multiple places I've found in New York that will serve you whatever the hell you want as early as you please. I enjoyed a delicious chicken parm panini just the other morning.

But what we really need are the fast food restaurants to get fully on board. I want to wake up early, go to the gym, and crush a Chipotle burrito before work (for gains). I want to hungoverly get a quarter pounder and fries at 8am on a Saturday morning, then fall back asleep until noon.  And on the other side of things, if I want a McGriddle for dinner, I should be able to have that too. Wouldn't that make things easier on everyone if restaurants only had to deal with one menu from open to close? Instead of having to do the whole late-morning menu change, and fist fighting customers who show up at 11:32am and try to order a Big Breakfast. The first of the major fast food restaurant chains to go full dinner menu from open to close is going to make waves in the industry. I'm optimistic that we'll get there soon enough.

Thank you for reading my original take on breakfast foods. It's crazy nobody has said anything like this before.