Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Lighten the Fuck Up! A Blonde and a Brunette Were Flat-Broke so They Decided To Rob a Bank...

Dave M. Benett. Getty Images.

A blonde and a brunette were flat-broke, so they decided to rob a bank… 

They devised a plan and then put their plan into action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank, turned to the blonde who was sitting shotgun, and asked, "Do you remember the plan?" 

The blonde sighed for a moment and then replied confidently, "Yeah, yeah, I remember…" 

The brunette went over the plan one more time before the blonde got out to do her part. Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled, "Be sure to be in and out of there in no more than five minutes. I'll keep the car running…" 

The blonde went inside carrying a rope while the brunette waited in the car… and waited… and waited… 

All of a sudden, with the alarm blaring loudly, the blonde burst out of the bank, pulling a rolling safe behind her using the rope she tied around it. 

A security guard stumbled out of the bank behind her, pants down around his ankles, trying desperately to reach for his weapon while the blonde tried to put the safe in the car. But it was too heavy, and she gave up, jumped in the passenger seat, and pulled the door shut, screaming, "Let's get out of here!"

The security guard was still running after them, yelling, "Stop! Stop!" while the women sped away. 

The brunette, upset that the robbery hadn't gone as planned, asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?" 

The blonde, still panting, turned to the brunette and asked, "What do you mean what the hell happened in there?" And then, in a defensive tone, she said, "I followed the plan exactly!" 

The brunette paused for a moment, thought about it, and, shaking her head in disgust, said, "You idiot! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU Joke #197!

Just in case you missed the last one…