Of Course Buffalo Bars Are Holding Church Services And Buffalo Churches Are Cancelling Regular Church To Hold "Tailgate Church" Because The Bills Play In London On Sunday Morning
As you can see in the tweet above, yesterday I blogged about New York putting their dumbass Sunday morning booze laws on hold so Bills fans could get loaded up at the local watering hole during the London game.
However, the good church-minded folks of Buffalo were left in a little bit of a predicament considering those blokes across the pond had kickoff at 9:30 AM ET, which is prime praying time.
So what did Bills fans do? What they always do when life gives them lemons. Make vodka lemonades!
(Source)- Most people have probably never been to church in a bar. But that's exactly what'll happen at the Tavern at Windsor Park in Williamsville this Sunday. "We are going to have a fabulous morning where we can enjoy two passions: the Bills and church. Well two of my passions," said pastor Steve Biegner from St. Paul Lutheran Church in Eggertsville.
Biegner will lead the service starting at 8:30 a.m. Then at 9 the tailgate begins, and the watch party starts at 9:30.
Man I love those beautiful maniacs north of The Wall that care about three things: Football, booze, and God. Some would say that's the original Big 3 while others would say that's the only Big 3.
I think it's pretty clear the pastor at St. John's would say the latter considering what they plan to do at his church.
It's the same reason the pastor at St. John's Lutheran Church on Main Street in Williamsville says traditional services for Sunday are canceled. Instead, he says they're trying something fun and unique with a "tailgate church" at 8:30 in the parking lot, followed by a watch party, rain or shine. The tailgate of a truck will be used as an altar.
I'm sure some Christians are clutching their rosary beads at the mere though of a truck tailgate being used as an altar. But you can't tell me that JC Himself wouldn't love the ingenuity of it all. Besides, if you put out an altar around Bills fans during a tailgate on gameday, we all know what's going to happen to that altar once the extra song Canadian beer kicks in.
The more I think about it, the more I believe Jesus would love church being held at a tailgate. All we hear about is how Jesus just wants us to be happier and there is nowhere I feel happier than being drunk in a parking lot before I watch a football game. Again, some idiots would say that Jesus wouldn't be a fan of alcohol on the Holy day. But lest we forget that JC once turned water into wine, so he is clearly a fan of the Sunday Sauce and I'm not talking about what the Sopranos eat.
Sorry Tone. But you gotta admit that a pastor going all Pinto Ron and baptizing people with condiments would be an electric way to wash away original sin and enter The Church.
Anyway, I love reading all these stories of Bills fans doing everything in their power to make sure they are loaded with booze and God points before kickoff on Sunday morning. Because of that, there isn't a line big enough that I wouldn't take at the Bills this weekend in Ted Lassoland.
P.S. I guarantee some people threw around the idea of just going to church on Saturday night. But everyone knows Saturday church is like winning a game of Madden on Rookie. It counts in theory but it's just not the same. I'm pretty sure one of the Gospel writers wrote that. Likely Peter, who was a huuuuuuuge football guy (more so a Notre Dame fan than the NFL).
h/t Dave