The "SchwarBurger" For Phillies Playoff Games Looks Amazing And Should Possibly Come With A Cardiologist

5 Balls. 5 delicious Balls. That's the official rating for The Schwarburger based on looks and risk to the arteries alone. Will it come out looking like this plump and delightful? Absolutely not. The preparation to perfectly stack those onion rings outside the bun alone would take way too much manpower for it to be viable. But a fat man can dream, dammit. A fat man can dream. 

Bull's BBQ for 2 pulled pork sandwhiches has always been my personal play at the Bank. However, the Schwarburger is only $23.12?!?! Good gravy. That's a legit price for 80+lbs worth of cow, pig, and onion ring. In fact, that's almost too good of a price in this economy with inflation. The conspiracy is on. Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you wanna see Schwarber sock a few dingers? 

Exactly. 

Red October arrives Tuesday. Be ready. Not just the arteries.