'Categorically, No' - While Live With Piers Morgan, Hans Niemann Adamantly Denies The Use Of Anal Beads To Beat Magnus Carlsen At Chess

Bill Clinton. Rafael Palmeiro. Hans Niemann. Three of the greatest deniers in the history of truth/lie we've ever seen. When I took journalism classes at Syracuse, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be writing about a grandmaster chess player adamantly refuting the use of anal beads to gain a competitive advantage on the board. I've written about a lot of out of left field things in my time here at Barstool, but that's right up there. 

Regardless if this was really true or not, Magnus Carlsen forcing Neimann to do all this to defend his name feels like a win in itself. Getting people to think your opponent used a remote-controlled vibrating sex toy to signal the right moves to make in a chess match is unbelievable. Yes they settled their lawsuit outside of court and Neimann is now free to play in any event he so chooses, but the anal bead claims will always remain with him. The gaping hole created in Neimann's integrity will never be fully repaired.

Glad to know he wasn't rattled by that Piers Morgan interview though. Textbook not-rattled. This guy? No shot. 

Just remember, whoever came up with the rumor in the first place 1000% got it from Always Sunny