Andy Reid Is Kind Of A Dick
There's no need to run trick plays Andy. This is wildly unnecessary. I understand that playing the Bears defense is like playing an extended scrimmage against a worse version of your practice squad. I know it's probably tempting to fuck around and run that play your 6-year old niece drew up for you in sidewalk chalk earlier this week. But the Bears don't deserve this. The Bears had a bad week. There's no reason to drag your red nuts across their face.
Honestly, I would be more understanding if you ran one of your fancy ring-around-the-rosey flea flickers for a 50-yard touchdown. It would still be incredibly rude, but if it takes the top off the defense then whatever. But what do you have to run a 9-yard trick play for? What are you trying to prove? The Bears don't even have a defensive coordinator. He's stuck in an interrogation room somewhere. You could call the entire game in French and average 9-yards per play. Patrick Mahomes could get you 9-yards blindfolded with his right arm tied behind his back.
Did you hear that Taylor Swift was in Travis Kelce's box (and vice versa) and decide to do a little peacocking? Thought it might be good for business if you kept the biggest superstar in the world entertained? Or are you just kind of a dick? I think you're just kind of a dick.