In the Most Predictable News Ever, Shirtless 'Bitch Boy' Golfer Guy is a Psycho With a Long Criminal History

In Fellowship of the Ring Gandalf says, that "Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you at a pinch.”  

Well the same can be said about golfers, only more so. You can spend decades seeing a guy in your Night League or even have him in your foursome for a weekly standing tee time and not learn a thing about him aside from which club he hits from 150 or whether he's willing to try a fairway wood out of the rough or prefers to lay up. Then there are other guys you meet for the first time and inside of 10 seconds you've already learned all there is to know. 

For sure, Bitch Boy Guy that Jordie wrote about is the latter:

The fact he appeared to be solo at the course was a bad sign already. When someone can't get a single friend to come with him, that sets off more alarms than a warship going to Battle Stations. But also, this deranged nutjob has his entire life story written on his crazy face, beaming out of his dead, lifeless, close-set eyes, and punctuated by his doughy dad bod. There was no way this loon was having a bad day or just lost his cool for a minute before calming down. Nobody just dabbles in this level of crackpottery; it has to be a lifestyle. And in his case, that is demonstrably true:

Source - A middle-aged man who went beserk over a golf ball has been identified as an Ohio resident with a history of previous arrests for 'menacing behavior'. 

John Warren Reeb, 41, from the tiny village of Archbold, went viral in an astonishing clip showing him arguing with fellow players about a ball before ripping off his shirt and challenging them to a fight. 

This summer alone, the 5 foot 9 man has been arrested twice for aggressive behavior outside his home. … and his previous police encounters involve alleged drug possession, aggressive behavior and trespass. 

On July 26, dressed only his underwear, Reeb allegedly threatened a 26-year-old man called Christian William Griteman in his hometown, according to the Archbold Buckeye.  …

Just three days later at around 1.15am, police were called to reports of a shirtless Reeb apparently chasing a vehicle down the street.

The car was being driven by a woman, who was not named in the police report. 

Police tracked Reeb down but he bolted home and would not answer the door when officers came knocking.  …

On July 15 he was also charged with disorderly conduct for allegedly yelling at Archbold resident Keith Perry, 48, as he was getting into his truck to go to work early in the morning. 

The police report states that Reeb spat at the truck, then tried to spit on Perry through the vehicle's open window, per the Archbold Buckeye. …

August brought two more arrests for Reeb. His latest arrest was on August 10, when police attended reports about him allegedly 'causing problems with others'. …

His other alleged crimes include speeding in a school zone in October 2007, possessing narcotics in July and December 2015, planning an intentional riot in 2022, and trespass earlier this year.

Reeb also caused a dramatic car crash in 2020 which caused him to be thrown out of his vehicle… Buick minivan when he failed to heed a stop sign and ploughed into the path of a Ford pick-up truck.

Holy cats, that's just a partial list. No wonder Reeb needed a nice relaxing round of golf. He's got to be exhausted from all that menacing, disorderly conduct, threatening, hocking loogies, "causing problems,"getting high, speeding, crashing, and flying out the car window. Hell, "planning an intentional riot" alone must be exhausting. All those people to contact. Arranging everyone's schedules. Deciding who brings the snacks and who brings the Molotov cocktails. Not to mention all the court time, meetings with his lawyers, community service hours. He's lucky he's able to fit in a quick nine before he has to pee in a cup for his probation officer. 

So while this was an unnerving incident for these two couples who had the grim misfortune of making John Reeb's acquaintance and a viral moment for the rest of us, for our boy John Warren, it was just another day at the Psycho office. If anything, that foursome probably got him at about a 4 on the Schizo Scale, and they did not want to see what a 9 looks like. Judging by this small sample of his criminal record, he's got a world of experience when it comes to going from zero to Shirtless O'Clock:

… and those shorts were not long for this world. 

Say what you will about John Warren Reeb, his background, his choices, his lifestyle, his crippling mental health problems and immediate need for intensive psychological help. But you have to give him his props for this: The man knows what he wants and how to get it. Whether it's terrorizing his neighbors or helping himself to a free Srixon Soft Feel Lady 8, the man wins every argument. Even while losing really badly at life.