Irina Shayk Returns From Going Topless on Vacation with Her Ex Brady Cooper to Find 'Patriot for Life' Tom Brady Still 'Super Content'

I have to admit, in all the soul-baring, raw, heartfelt outpouring of love over the weekend:

… I bloody well forgot that Tom "Patriot for Life" Brady has a life outside his parents, his kids, the Krafts, his millions of devotees and his six (OK, seven) Lombardi Trophies. For sure neither I nor anyone else was thinking about how the supermodel he's dating was just off in St. Somewhere (thanks for that one, Jimmy Buffett #RIP) with her ex-boyfriend Bradley Cooper releasing the twins in a photo shoot:

And frankly, I'm glad he showed up to the party at Gillette lone-wolfing it. With all that GOATmance in the air already, dragging a Plus One along with him would've been like bringing a sandwich to a feast. He who travels fastest travels alone, and all that. 

But that doesn't mean Irina Shayk didn't want to see Brady. A lot. Because she wasted no time showing up at his place once he came down from the high:

Source - Irina Shayk was photographed dashing into Tom Brady’s New York City apartment two weeks after getting touchy-feely with her ex Bradley Cooper.

We’re told the former quarterback arrived at his Tribeca apartment Monday afternoon but stayed in his SUV for roughly 20 minutes before the supermodel appeared separately.

Shayk then waited in her chauffeured SUV for nearly 10 minutes before getting out and rushing inside the swanky apartment building after Brady arrived.

The A-listers allegedly spent the rest of the afternoon inside.

For the record, the "super content" part of that headline comes from Brady's own words on his podcast, describing his decision to call it a career. And impossibly accomplished, successful career filled with pure, undiluted, full strength, Grade A All-American excellence. And it's obvious none of that has changed. He's only gotten more super and further content. 

 What's hard to imagine is how this went for Irina Shayk. Sure she got alone time with the world's most eligible bachelor. But can you imagine being her in this moment? Trying to hold his attention after this?

Trying to make idle small talk. Describing her vacation (but leaving out as much as she could about the ex and the semi-nudity), dithering on about how the flight was, making small talk about the kids and the weather and how she's all caught up on Ahsoka or whatever clap trap. Knowing the whole time he was just the eye of a Category 5 storm of positive emotions and universal affection. 

Talk about your tough act to follow. Your new honey just pulled his heart out of his chest in front of the whole world and left it on the turf in Foxboro. Who could possibly compete with that? I admire her for trying. At this point, Shayk is the fourth love of his life, forced to compete with his first love, which is the New England Patriots and their fans. Better women than her have tried. And in the end, realized that sooner or later, he's going to come back to us. 

So good luck with this, sister. The man said "Patriot for Life," not "Some Model's Boyfriend for Life."