Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Nothing Makes More Sense Than Trea Turner Being On Paternity Leave Exactly 9 Months After Signing A $300 Million Contract

You have to imagine that the moment the Phillies went out and landed Trea Turner in free agency, they knew they'd be without him for a week or so at some point in early September. And now that day has come. 

I'd have to imagine that nothing sets the mood quite like acquiring generational wealth. I get a tax return for a few hundred dollars and I'm raring to go. Signing a piece of paper that says there will be $300 million in your bank account? Well that's some "let's keep the lights on" kind of money. 

Now I know there are going to be some "well actually" dorks who come in here saying it's closer to 10 months from conception to birth, so getting down and dirty on December 5th would more likely result in a baby being born the first week of October. But as Brian Williams once said, "don't let the facts get in the way of a great story". 

At the very least, Trea Turner knew he was in for something close to a $300 million pay day in the weeks leading up to signing with the Phillies. So again, this shouldn't come as any surprise to the Phillies. I'm sure they already had this marked on their calendar from the jump. And if anything, this just means that Trea Turner will be heading into the postseason with even more Dad Strength than before. So congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Turner. Ball go boom, baby. 

@JordieBarstool