Utah Residents Are So Sexually Repressed That A Nevada Brothel Is Offering Them A Discount

NY Post- These courteous courtesans are taking the tip off of Beehive State residents’ bills.

A legal brothel in Wells, Nevada has announced that, for the rest of 2023, customers with an ID from neighboring Utah will enjoy a 10% discount on “all sensual services” provided by its workers. 

“Utah is our nation’s most sexually repressed state,” said Madam Bella Cummins, who has owned and operated Bella’s Hacienda Ranch for the past 37 years.  Wells is located about an hour’s drive from the Utah state line.

This year, Utah implemented a law requiring age verification for all porn sites in the name of creating “reasonable safeguards for our children,” as Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes said in a statement — responding to a judge’s dismissal of a lawsuit against the legislation, PBS reported.

Ahhhh the classic idea of a discount! Some establishments like Applebee's famously offer half-priced appetizers after 10pm, most superstores like Target are constantly offering BOGO (buy one, get one free) deals, and Wendy's even offers a great $4 for 4 deal! So if all those great All-American establishments offer awesome discounts there's simply no reason why Bella's Hacienda Ranch in Wells, Nevada shouldn't be offering discounts for some of their customers!

They're running a deal now that gives a 10% discount on their uhmmmm services (?) to the residents of their neighboring state of Utah. Now why Utah you ask? I think Utah I think of dudes having multiple wives, not being sexually repressed yet I'll take Bella's word for it on this one! Not to mention this wonderful hacienda ranch is located just a mere hour from the Utah state line so if you're one of those repressed fellas...they're waiting for you! If you're thinking of forking over $500 for a multitude of services...guess what? You only gotta pay $450. It's a wonderful thing- just remember to tip properly, please!