Tom Brady is Reportedly Cool About Irina Shayk Going Topless with Bradley Cooper Amid Speculation He's Ready to Rejoin the Patriots

Maddie Meyer. Getty Images.

It takes a big man to watch his love interest interact with her ex and not feel a little insecure. It takes an even bigger man when that ex just happens to be one of the most famous, celebrated, and desirable men on the planet:

Yet only the biggest man can stand by stoically while said girlfriend is off in some tropical destination with said celebrity ex, going topless for a photoshoot:

Which is precisely the situation Tom Brady finds himself. Irina Shayk is off on in St. Somewhere, releasing the twins right in front of Bradley Cooper. That would be a formula for disaster were the man she's currently dating any mere mortal. But supreme self-confidence is just one of Brady's many superpowers:

Source -Tom Brady was spotted enjoying some downtime at his luxury condo in Surfside, Florida … as he found some time to decompress.

He was spotted lying down on his balcony furniture and taking a short nap before heading back into his unit.

Brady looked totally at ease during his solo time, even as his girlfriend Irina Shayk was recently seen vacationing in Venice with her ex Bradley Cooper and the daughter that they share, Lea De Seine.

The former Patriots quarterback was dressed for ease on his lazy Monday with a simple black T-shirt that showed off his ripped biceps. …

Not only is he not jealous, but he fully supports the move, as he's a 'family man' himself and understands the importance of co-parenting as a unified front.

All this "ripped biceps" talk is giving me the vapors, so I'm going to need a minute to compose myself. … 

OK, I'm back. The takeaway from this is that, sure, it does take a family man who understands the importance of co-parenting as a united front to play it cool in a situation such as this. But there are hundreds of millions of men who would describe themselves that way, and every one of them would support their girlfriend's family getaway only with the expectation she's not going Sun's Out, Gun's Out. But not Brady. He understands life as a supermodel. And he's not the least bit put out by the idea of some Oscar nominated, platinum-recorded A-lister standing by watching as his squeeze decides to Free the Russian Two. 

Why? Because he's been through way too much to be bothered by a little thing like an international sex symbol staring at his girlfriend's areola. He wasn't intimidated by the elements in The Snow Bowl, Greatest Show on Turf, the Legion of Boom, being down 28-3, or conference championship showdowns on the road against Patrick Mahomes and Aaron Rodgers. What chance does Sack Lodge have to get into his perfectly coiffed head?

But the real reason might just be that Tom Brady has much, much bigger things on his mind:

These are dots that are no more difficult to connect than the stars of the Big Dipper. And they burn just as brightly. 

The Patriots released Bailey Zappe, Malik Cunningham and Trace McSorely, leaving Mac Jones as the only quarterback on the roster. Any other available free agent QB would take an enormous amount of time and effort to train. And even then there's no guarantee they'd master Bill O'Brien's system enough to be a trusted backup. 

Brady had every opportunity to start collecting his enormous checks from Fox Sports, but kicked that can down the road to next year without explanation. Brady's affection for Bill Belichick is well documented:

As is his for O'Brien:

And he of course remains the son Mr. Kraft never had.

Which begs the question: Would the GOAT be willing to come back to Foxboro just to be Mac Jones' backup? The evidence would seem to suggest that's a yes:

I mean, what could be a better situation for him? No heavy lifting. No having to get used to a new system or break in a new coach like he did when he completely stripped Bruce Arians of his duties and took over in Tampa in 2020. Brady could walk into the building on Day 1 knowing everything he needs to know. Hell, his key card probably still works. Or knowing the Krafts' feelings towards the man, there's probably a retinal scanner programmed to read his dreamy blue eyes and open every locked door. So he gets to skip the drudgery of the offseason workouts, not break a sweat, hold a tablet on the sideline while mentoring a young quarterback very much like himself, act as a sort of assistant quarterbacks coach, hang with the guys, while working for men he respects, in what amounts to a semi-retirement. Like a retired cop who gets to keep his gun and badge and picks up shifts doing paid details directing traffic around road construction and utility work. And that will still leave him plenty of time to spend with his new honey.

This way, everybody wins. I don't know if the world is beautiful enough a place for this to happen. But this is a dream I'm only too happy to dream. Make it so.