Dumping Them Out: I'm Producing The Kirk Minihane Show

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Gonna try to think of a few new Google searches this week to drum up some different GIF's. I'm getting down to slim pickings. I'm about 100 pages deep into 'hot girl bikini gif' on Google images. I gotta start mixing it up. Maybe 'beautiful woman swimsuit gif' will yield me some new results.

Nope, pretty sure I've used those exact ones many times before. Very beautiful women though.

I'm gonna try to keep this short because I really hate talking about myself. This Friday I'm going to be in Boston producing The Kirk Minihane Show to try out for his full-time producer job. It started as a joke. I knew he was looking for a new producer, and technically I've been producing The Rundown for the last year. It was a joke to me because in my mind I was pretty sure the producer responsibilities I have for The Rundown don't quite stack up to what's required of Kirk's show. So I was like, fuck it. This tweet might be kind of funny.

One thing leads to another. Next thing I know I'm saying "Fuck Kmarko" on Twitter. And all of the sudden I'm going to be on the show Friday. 

I really was half-joking at first, but within an hour after that tweet I realized I might actually have a shot at it. So now I'm 100% in. I'm fully convinced that I'll be able to learn what I need to do to produce the show. I'm a smart guy (kind of). I work hard (I think). I know I'll be able to figure it out. I'm admittedly not deep into the culture of the Kirk Minihane Show, but I have tons of respect for what he's built. 

Personally, I've always kinda felt like I was on my own at Barstool, so to have an opportunity to be a part of something like KMS is huge for me. And as a person, Kirk's shown me more support than any of the other higher ups at Barstool. Not that anybody has been bad. Everybody has been great. But Kirk has gone out of his way to reach out to me a few times and I really appreciated that. So why the hell wouldn't I want to work for him? Plus, the Minifans have always been cool to me. Except for that one guy who ratted me out and got me kicked off Team Minihane for picking up a Brick Watch for Klemmer. But honestly, that was fair. I fucked up. I knew the rules.

So why the fuck would I not go for it? It's a no brainer. I'm not going to wow anybody with my technical skills, but I'm a quick learner, I'm great at taking direction, and I learn from my mistakes very well. Plus, I think an outsider can be good for a show sometimes. That being said, I will be doing nothing but cramming old Kirk Minihane Show episodes all week, and trying to learn the technical side of things. Idk what that technical stuff actually is, but I'm gonna find out on way or another. And I've always said the best way to learn is from other people's mistakes, so here's what I'm doing right now.

Watching Messi MLS highlights for Inter Miami has become one of my favorite things to do. It's very dumb how it took Messi coming to play soccer in America for me to fully appreciate how great he is. I remember when players like David Beckham, Thierry Henry, Wayne Rooney, and Ibrahimovic joined the MLS. There was definitely a little buzz around them, and I'm sure they played great soccer in their own right, but all of them combined don't come close to touching what Messi has already done for the league. Every game he plays is must see TV (although I don't think you can actually watch them anywhere unless you buy some sort of sicko MLS package, but it's must see Twitter clips for sure). Last night's goal in New York might have been the best one yet.

I will say, as a long time New Yorker, I'm offended that Messi started this game sitting on the bench while playing in the greatest city in the world. But at least he made up for it with that goal.

Speaking of Messi, this was cracking me up yesterday. On Friday I wrote a blog about Messi's bodyguard. His bodyguard literally runs up and down the field all game long watching Messi, just waiting for anybody to fuck with him. I've never seen anything like that.

I looked this guy up, and his name is Yassine Chueko. According to every article on the internet about this guy, he's a former US Navy SEAL. So naturally I put that in the title of the blog. Turns out I really really really really upset one guy in particular by doing that.

I got at least 10 tweets from this dude who was beside himself because I didn't, and I quote, "check with former Navy SEAL Don Shipley to confirm Yassine Chueko's veteran status." Dude would just not let it go. He's so passionate about it that I'm inclined to believe him. Obviously I have no idea about this guys credentials. I wrote a fucking blog for Barstool. I hope this doesn't come as a shock to anyone, but Barstool bloggers don't typically to do any fact checking beyond a Google search. So let me say on the record, to calm this guy down, I have no fucking clue if this bodyguard is a veteran or not, and I give my sincerest apologies for not tracking down a retired veteran who I didn't even know existed to run my "look at this jacked dude follow Messi around the soccer field blog" by him first. Can't believe I didn't think to do that. Won't happen again. Thank you for your service Don Shipley.

I watched the BS High documentary on the Bishop Sycamore fake high school football team in Columbus. The "school" that recruited a bunch of 20 year old kids, scheduled the team to play he best high school football teams in America, and got their shit pushed in every week. Sometimes getting their shit pushed in twice in one weekend. If you haven't seen it, I'd say it's a must watch. 

The head coach Roy Johnson is a complete sociopath. Watching him talk and try to explain himself is fascinating. The most incredible thing about the documentary to me isn't the fact that they had 0 graduates in 3 years, or the team getting kicked out of every hotel they stayed in for not paying the bill, or even the one time Roy Johnson was driving players around in his car and he intentionally sped up to hit a flock of geese and said, "there's nothing like fresh blood in the morning." It was the fact that at the end of the documentary, he truly believed the whole thing was going to be a good look for him. Just listen to this psycho.

Now time to spend the rest of my week learning how to be a producer.