Video of a Surfer Carrying a Shark on His Board? It's Just Another Day in Australia.

Kelly Cestari. Getty Images.

Surfer -  Sharks are common in Australia. 

Whether it’s on the east coast (with surfing hubs like New South Wales or Queensland), or Victoria (Bells Beach), or the very sharky west (Margaret River and more). 

So, it’s no surprise to see ‘em; but this next clip is a little…different. …

It shows a paddleboarder with an allegedly dead shark (species unknown) and the nose of his board, as he catches a wave, and brings the deceased beast to shore. 

The video was flagged with a warning, reading:

“The actions in this video are performed by professionals or supervised by professionals. Do not attempt.”

Thanks to Big Tech for the most needless warning of all time. That'll be sure to dissuade any amateur shark surfer from attempting this stunt without getting the proper training and certification. But for all I know, Australia issues licenses for this kind of suicidal hijinks.

If you needed any further evidence to make the case that Aussies are different from you and me - and I can't imagine why you would - here's all the proof you need. Everything that lives on that godforsaken continent is designed to bite you, sting you, poison you, infect you, claw you or otherwise end your existence in the most brutal way. I heard an interview with a guy a while back who told the tale of a male kangaroo at a national park pushing its way through his wife and daughters who were feeding it, just to kick him right in the nuts. And that's the national symbol of the place. 

But of course, the animal related peril by no means ends at the shoreline of the former prison colony they used to haul unruly Irishmen off to. The waters off Van Diemen's Land pretty much lead the league when it comes to sea creatures hell bent on ending you. Or have we forgotten about the tragic demise of Crocodile Hunter? Because I never will. And speaking of which, how many stories do you hear where some guys are sitting at a bar firing down 50 gallon drums of Foster's, and a crocodile walks in and they make friends with the giant prehistoric murder pool noodle? 

So sure, the sight of a dude shredding tasty waves with a shark on his Firewire poly shortboard is probably not even video-worthy down there for all I know. And let's not get lost in the weeds of this assumption the fish was dead. Either way, you're just asking for trouble. A live one will bite your hand off. Carrying a dead one is just ringing the dinner bell for a bigger one that will take your whole arm. If you're lucky. Either way, you have to come from a country of madmen who embrace mortal danger like it's their birthright. 

Getting back to that warning the video is flagged with? This is another one of moments that reminds me of my favorite bit Ricky Gervais has ever done. "Let's take the warning labels off of everything for like two years," he says. "Then, we put it to a referendum." I say we'll lose a few jokers who haul apex predators out of the surf just so they can hang 10 with them as a hood ornament. But I think we'll be better off if we thin their herd a little. And the Land Down Under seems to have more than they need.