Checking In From Southern California As We Brace For Hurricane Hilary Before She Arrives As The First Tropical Storm The State Has Seen In More Than 80 Years
Well California. We did it. We really did it.
BINGO!!
Hilary is supposed to hit sometime tonight as she crosses the border from Baja Mexico east of Cabo San Lucas. Not a political take but at least we know the real reason Hillary didn't want Trump to build the wall. Having moved to California from Chicago ten years ago I am equipped to offer my fellow Californians absolutely zero experience in preparing for what is expected to be the state's first tropical storm since Gone With The Wind was ironically playing in theaters. That was 1939 for those keeping score at home. I have no idea what to expect except to prepare for the worst.
I probably wouldn't be this overreactive if I didn't get a slew of emails from every utility and service telling me not to overreact with some form of "Let us assure you we are doing everything possible to prepare for the pending storm". I've never felt more unassured in my life. And I love storms. LOVE storms. There's nothing more thrilling than watching a Midwest cold front roll in with that patented boomerang shape. But infrastructure in the Midwest accounts for this shit.
Enter California.
They say we are expecting literally a year's worth of rain from this single storm. If you thought native Californians sucked at dealing with the rain on the roads let me introduce you to our water irrigation system. We have main lines 100 years old and undoubtedly not up to code that break randomly already with no assistance needed from a literal tropical storm. Happened in Sherman Oaks just this year too which could have qualified as a spot on the bingo board now that I think of it. Remember when Atlanta had that ice storm several years ago that shut down the city because - whoops - there was no salt for the roads? You gotta think we're in for our version of this now. Hurricane's/tropical storms - they aren't supposed to happen here, El Nino or not.
You could say we're not prepared. I'm not even sure I'm joking when I say street lights will tap out and switch to flashing red from a bird flying through the sun's path. There's really only one thing to say at this point.
If you're reading this and from Southern California, there's a good chance you're an able bodied individual. So all I can suggest at the moment is to get necessary paperwork in your possession safe from water, account for your family and pets, and maybe see if there's any sand left at a local firehouse. If they are out and give you an address of another location to pick up sand at that doesn't happen to exist (hypothetically), just go to Home Depot and see if they have any left. Have an elderly neighbor living solo? Check in on them and see if they need any help and be ready to be an actual helpful member of society if shit does in fact get real bad.
We'll see how this goes. Wish us luck. We need it.
- Jeffro