Report: Supermodel Irina Shayk is Cutting Off All Friendships to Focus on Being the Best Tom Brady Girlfriend She Could Possibly Be

Here's a little relationship advice from your Ol' Life Coach, Old Balls. I've been at this a long time and have picked up a thing or two about how to make a romantic partnership last. 

First, you need to agree on one thing and one thing only. As soon as possible, come to a mutual understanding of how you define the term "Room Temperature." Once you establish what number the thermostat should be set to, you'll save yourself a lot of conflict. After that, the rest is cream cheese. 

Next, have interests outside the relationship. Hobbies. Pursuits. Side hustles. It not only gives you space of your own, it makes you a more interesting person. And gives you something to share with your significant other. 

That second one definitely includes friendships. In our single days, my buddies and I had a running joke about how whenever you take a girl on a third date, she'd immediately call all her girlfriends to tell them she's got a boyfriend now and will be out of touch until the relationship ends in disaster. We were rarely wrong. 

But there are exceptions to that rule. For instance, if the guy you just so happens to be dating is the greatest winner in the history of the human race who someday will evolve into an omniscient and omnipotent being with godlike powers? You give that your all. Nothing else in your life matters when you have an opportunity like that. Which is a lesson that is not lost on Brady's current romantic partner:

Source - Irina Shayk isn’t taking any chances with her budding relationship with Tom Brady. 

We hear the model is so intent on making the romance work that she’s even cutting ties with some of her more loose-lipped pals to avoid any embarrassing fumbles. 

A source tells us that the Russian model has “narrowed her inner circle” to prevent leaks. 

“She’s afraid any weird rumors might scare him off,” they added. …

“She really wants this to work,” says the source. “Brady is her white whale. He’s an all-American nice guy.”

Well played, Irina. Well played indeed. You are on the right track. Yes, the white whale metaphor is meant to apply to a dangerous obsession that is capable of destroying a person. But don't let that scare you off. Sinking your personal Pequod and destroying all you hold dear is a small price to pay to land this prize catch. 

Those friends you're cutting off are not worth having if keeping them means being distracted from becoming the best version of Brady's girlfriend you can be. It doesn't matter if they were there for you in good times and in bad. If they'd give you the shirt off their backs. If they always gave you someone to talk to. They can be replaced. And as far as I know, there's only one genetically perfect superbeing out there with seven Super Bowl rings. Through some accident of the universe, he's available. This is your one opportunity. And the rest of mankind can fuck all the way off until you've closed this particular sale. 

To everyone else in Shayk's life: Back off. Give her the space she needs. This woman must commit to all the self-improvement she needs in order to be worthy of him. And even dating Christian Reynaldo and Bradley Cooper were no dress rehearsals for what she now must live up to. Godspeed, Irina.