After A Mostly Meaningless Cardinals-Broncos Preseason Matchup, A Revelation: Denver And Kyler Murray Are A Perfect (Eventual) Match
Congrats to David Blough and the Arizona Cardinals. At least you won't go winless in the preseason. As for when the actual games start? Very much in play without the services of franchise quarterback Kyler Murray. Only joking a little about that. Arizona's Over/Under win total is set at 4.5.
Thanks to some genius front office moves and how bad CJ Stroud looked in his preseason debut for the Texans, that gift of a trade with Houston may very well have the Cardinals picking first and second in the 2024 NFL Draft. Should that come to pass, even with Kyler's contract on the books for many more years, you could hardly blame the organization and the player for wanting a fresh start. Clean break. Turn the page. As long as a proper destination could be found for the young man Arizona once drafted first overall.
With four years in the books, one awful playoff start and a whole lot of chaos, yeah...Kyler Murray could use a new team. In watching Russell Wilson bumblefuck his way through trying to be a pure pocket passer in Sean Payton's system for the Denver Broncos — sans that trademark escaping ability he showed in his prime — it dawned on me that Kyler to Denver would be an amazing match.
Look at Kyler cheering his mates on during last night's 18-17 win! You'd think he'd never want to leave!
...Again, wait till the season starts and the L's pile up.
How could it happen with two high-priced QBs seemingly tied to their current teams for multiple seasons to come? "WHAT A STUPID HYPOTHETICAL THIS IS!" you might be thinking if you hate this sort of thing. Will do my best not to fully waste your time on a Saturday or whenever you happen to read this. You can't tell me this isn't more interesting than the preseason. Double-negative but let's roll with it.
Arizona would be on the hook for a lot of dough to Kyler for the next three years if he were traded to the Broncos, yet that would essentially even out once Caleb Williams or Drake Maye is inserted as the new signal-caller on that sweet, sweet cheap rookie contract. I suspect the Cardinals would go with the USC star and reigning Heisman Trophy winner with the first overall pick.
Plus, the Cardinals could get at least one first-round pick in exchange for Kyler. I'd ask for a 2025'er, because my hunch is, if the Broncos don't get it done this year, they'll still have an elite defense and it'll fall on the QB's shoulders again as to why the team didn't succeed.
Rob Walton is the new principal owner of the Broncos. Bloomberg has Walton listed with a net worth of $71 billion. That's so far beyond fuck-you money. Walton could light $5 billion on fire and it wouldn’t matter in the slightest.
The new ownership group forked over a reported $18 million annually for Sean Payton to be their new coach. You think they want to hamstring him with a Cliff Theory Quarterback (h/t Max K.) who has an albatross for a contract? Hell no. If Russ sucks this year, they will not hesitate to move on. They shitcanned Nathaniel Hackett REAL QUICK.
Russ has no guaranteed salary beyond 2024. Denver needs to eat his prorated bonus money thereafter, all the while saving insane amounts of cap space through 2028 with a post-June 1 cut in '24. Shoutout to Over The Cap, by the way, for helping out with all these scenarios.
This is, of course, assuming no contract restructuring or finagling happens at all. If moves this seismic were about to occur for both teams, surely Russ and Kyler would do what they could to accommodate. Or at least Kyler probably would. Anyway.
Arizona has one of the least-liquid owners, so admitting defeat on Kyler would be tough to swallow. It'll be easier to manage in the coming years thanks to the new TV/media rights deals that are kicking in. The salary cap is going to go way up. League revenue shares are going to keep skyrocketing. They can more than make up the admittedly steep losses incurred by a pre-June 1 trade:
Imagine Kyler’s freakishly athletic self acclimating to that Mile High City altitude, having opponents come out west, and having to chase his ass around for four quarters. No thank you! And how awesome would this be for Payton? He could, in essence, mold Kyler the way he molded Drew Brees. Only Kyler has a stronger arm, similar flawless mechanics to Brees, and fucking turbo boosters for legs.
I have this really loose working hypothesis about the NFL. Or more like a trend I’ve noticed: Way more often than not, you need either a coach or a quarterback who has a visible, fiery competitive streak. If both key cogs have it, even better. It’s guaranteed to fail if neither coach nor QB give off that type of energy.
Here are the chill-chill HC-QB duos that come to mind from last year:
Broncos: Nathaniel Hackett-Russell Wilson — They were more weird than anything else, really.
Texans: Lovie Smith-Davis Mills (Is there a less fiery coach than Lovie Smith in the history of professional sports? If there is, I haven’t seen him. To be fair, the man knew he was doomed. I think Davis Mills celebrated his 4th and 20 heave that cost Houston the No. 1 overall pick. Can’t be certain. I’m sure Lovie did in his own little Lovie sort of understated way)
Commanders: Ron Rivera-Carson Wentz/Taylor Heinicke — Whenever they cut to Rivera, he always has sort of a blank stare. You never know what’s going on between those ears. Behind those signature shades. Maybe he’s like Ken and using the glasses to hide his sadness at all the QB/organizational instability in Washington. I guess Heinicke is kinda fiery, if not particularly good.
Falcons: Arthur Smith-Marcus Mariota (Smith does blow a gasket every now and then, but is more of a flat-line guy on game day who looks like he’s legitimately plotting how to take out an official. Mariota is self-explanatorily flat-line. Watch that Netflix Quarterback series if years of proof in the public eye didn't convince you.
Saints: Dennis Allen-Andy Dalton/Jameis Winston — Jameis is weird, off-putting and faux competitive, IMO. Sorry @Jameis1of1. The dream is fucking dead. As for Andy, still love you Red Rifle.
Colts: Frank Reich-Matt Ryan — Matty Ice used to be more amped up but seemed sad and in a perpetual state of shock that he was no longer in Atlanta in 2022. Recently called his brief stint in Indy a "shit show." Can't blame him for lacking morale with a waning arm, a bad pass-blocking o-line and a midseason coaching change.
Bears: Matt Eberflus-Justin Fields — I could probably pick Eberflus out of Big Cat’s annual coaches’ photo. I doubt the vast majority of decently-informed NFL fans outside of Chicago could. Rooting for the Bears to turn it around, to be clear. Justin Fields is a JFF I can actually get behind and have hope for.
…Moral of the story: None of those teams even sniffed the playoffs. I'm sure I'm missing some but alas we must move forward. This year, we might get the likes of Todd Bowles and Kyle Trask in Tampa Bay. WOOF. Pray for Steve Cheah. It’s either Trask or the other outcome: The fiery-but-frequently-shittily-performing Baker Mayfield.
Suppose we’ll find out how true this HC-QB personality corollary is when Reich coaches up Bryce Young on the Panthers in the coming years. Two soft-spoken gridiron lads, them fellas. Trevor Lawrence and Doug Pederson are an excellent match. Neither of them have crazy shit going on, other than T-Law's long locks of flowing Jesus hair. Both are laidback, love football and can seemingly still have fun while winning. This was a recent development. The Jags shocked everyone with that hot finish to steal the AFC South. Cut me some slack.
Didn’t plan on writing out explanations for all those other teams. Apologies for the tangent. Back to the main topic of the blog to tie it all together…
Sean Payton is as intense of a coach as you could ever ask for. Kyler can’t stand the toxic dysfunction and losing in Arizona. Making fun of his frustration and lacking film study used to be fun. Then I realized it’s kinda sad. Here’s a straight-up elite talent, one of the best athletes of all-time who got drafted first overall in the NFL and ninth overall in MLB…and what does he have to show for the first four years of his career? Not much beyond a couple fast-starting seasons where he was an early MVP candidate, only to get hurt and/or fade down the stretch.
Especially with how Payton ripped his predecessor Hackett a new asshole for how shitty of a coach he is, if the Broncos struggle this season (highly probable), the ex-Saints Super Bowl champion will be eager to prove himself. You can bet your life that Kyler Murray would enjoy a change of scenery, too, with the Cardinals atop the draft order and a generational QB talent staring them in the face.
If Kyler can play at an MVP-caliber level for much of a season under Kliff Kingsbury, what might he be capable of with a coach/play-caller like Payton who can actually handle his competitiveness, not to mention a defense as currently-elite as Denver’s? Tantalizing possibilities to entertain for both parties.
Houston and Arizona are tied for the longest Super Bowl odds at +20000. So yeah, Cards. Enjoy the win. Hope that Kyler returns sooner than expected from a torn ACL and takes you on a miracle run. See how that works out. OR, entertain this idea, own the draft for the next two years and get a probable upgrade in Caleb Williams, plus an instant No. 1 wide receiver in Marvin Harrison Jr.
Bring on the, "This is the new levels of stupid" snide comments. I can take it. Meanwhile, enjoy Harrison cooking on your way out.