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The Most Absurd Season In MLB History Is Reaching A Fever Pitch As Shohei Ohtani Is Now Top 6 In All The Hitting AND Pitching Triple Crown Categories

I feel like every time someone brings up Shohei Ohtani's season we keep keep saying that we are not talking about it enough. Because we're not. It should be part of every single conversation in our lives right now.  

Hey, did you hear Craig is getting divorced? Yeah, he caught his wife in bed with her Pilates instructor. 

Damn, that sucks. But do you know what isn't a stretch? Shohei winning both triple crowns. 

The fact he has an outside shot at both is so fucking absurd it hurts my brain. Assuming everyone stays healthy it's tough to imagine he passes Gausman in Ks and Eovaldi in ERA on the pitching side. And on the hitting side it'll be tough to pass Bichette in batting average. 

But then again the Angels still have 46 games left and Ohtani isn't from this world. 

Ohtani hasn't allowed an earned run in his last three starts and has 17 strikeouts over that span. At the plate he has been slightly more human with hits in 12 of his last 14 games and 6 RBI and 4 HR in that span. 

But even if he doesn't snag either triple crown that doesn't take away from the fact he is banging on the door of both like a drunk roommate who lost their keys at the bar. It's annoying to everyone else in contention but he's not going away so you might as well wake up, pay attention, and eat some pizza rolls with him. 

And the Angels are so damn bad he can just try for whatever stats he needs on that night, wins be damned. He's got a comfortable lead in homers so he can just try and slap a few singles for average even if they're down 8. He needs to make up some distance in strikeouts? Just throw out pitches every time you have two strikes on a batter and who gives a shit if you walk them. Fuck those free baserunners, we have history to chase.

I still think the Angels are complete idiots for not trading him at the deadline, but maybe they know something we don't. Whatever he does this offseason the contract is going to be Taylor Swift levels of insane and I can't wait to see it. Just for the love of god please don't sign with the Yankees.