A Colorado Couple Figured How The Only Thing Worse Than Rain On Your Wedding Day Is A Bear On Your Dessert Table
UPI News -- A Colorado couple's wedding started with monsoon rains and ended with an uninvited guest -- a bear -- raiding the dessert table.
Cailyn McRossie-Martinez and Brandon Martinez shared photos from their Boulder County wedding, which took an unplanned turn when monsoon rains began to fall right before they exchanged vows.
"So by the time it started pouring rain on us in the middle of the ceremony, us and all of our guests were soaking wet. But it was awesome. It was totally awesome," McRossie-Martinez told KUSA-TV.
The next surprise came during the reception, when a bear showed up and started eating all of the desserts.
"It's not too often you go in to your dessert table and see a bear crashing it and eating all of it," Martinez said.
McRossie-Martinez said it ended up being the "perfect Colorado wedding."
"Life doesn't always go to plan, but it's how you get through it together," she said.
With all due respect to our lord and savior ... to quote my grandfather... "Jesus H Christ" . What a scene.
Let's first start with the underrated storyline. A monsoon on your wedding is as bad as it gets folks. People at the ceremony is usually a big ask as it is- have to get ready earlier, you are outside sweating, etc etc. If it rains it's a damn disaster. Women (and any self respecting man) is upset about their hair getting ruined, people are less happy at the cocktail hour, mothers are crying about pictures being ruined, everyone is pissed off. Nothing ruins a wedding like rain. I have been to very few that rained but you for sure remember them. I have been to great weddings and forget some details, but I never forget those rain drops on my suit. Brutal.
So now imagine you have a monsoon of all things to overcome. You get into the ball room and start dancing and just when you think you have the mental fortitude to say "forget about it...put it in the past" and roll with the punches ... a fucking bear starts helping himself to cannoli's like Bobby Bacala on Christmas Eve after a few glasses of Sambuca. A fucking bear folks! A fucking bear at a wedding. How do you overcome that? How can you tell people to remain calm and stick around to dance when there's a bear eating the chocolate cake? I don't care if Alesso was at Table 8 and set to play Calling towards the end of night, I don't care if Sydney Sweeney was talking to me ... I'm out of there. You expect people to stick around for a wedding when there's a bear? To quote the famous Danny Boy Cane ... " I would hightail it out of there like Carl Lewis."
Lastly... absolutely insane for the bride to say it's a "perfect Colorado wedding". Maybe people out there are easy going, but ask any girl named Gina, Sabrina or Maria in the Tri-State area if a flower centerpiece is off by a leaf and they want blood. I don't even want to know how long it would take for recovery if a bear showed up to The Park Savoy.
Final note ... Top 10 internet clip in the history of my life below ...
" I WILL GUT YOU"