Jim Irsay is Paying Millions of Dollars to Fly an Orca Whale Across the Country

"Bad news Jonathan Taylor. I'd love to pay you. I really would. But you see, there's this captive whale in Miami, and I need to act fast if I want to get her to whale friendly waters of the Pacific Northwest. You understand right? I'm sure you've seen blackfish. Whales are intelligent creatures who aren't meant to live in captivity. A man has to have his priorities in order."

I feel like I blog the exact same jokes about Jim Irsay every fucking time. I'm almost sick of doing it at this point. How many times can I hammer home the fact that the Colts' billionaire allegedly former alcoholic drug addict owner is a crazy person who does hilarious things. I'm pretty sure you all get the point by now. But every few days I see something come across my Twitter feed and I'm like, "Damn... that is pretty good. I should probably take the time to blog that."

Obviously, for me to say this is a fuck you to Jonathan Taylor is sort of misrepresenting the situation. It's not that Jim Irsay is saying he doesn't have the funds to pay him. Unlike baseball where owners can essentially just buy their way into a great baseball team, the NFL has a strict salary cap. I would like to believe that if the salary cap wasn't in place, Jim Irsay would happily meet Jonathan Taylor's demands. It would at least be a different conversation. But he has to think about how he's going to best divide up $224.8 million USD amongst a roster's worth of players in a way that's going to best help his beloved Colts make it to the second round of the playoffs at best.

That being said, there's still a part of me that feels Jim Irsay does things like this out of spite. Not as much to say that his money is better spent on a random Orca than the face of his franchise, but more so to show to JT that there are more important things in life than football. rIf Jim Irsay and Jonathan Taylor are eaten by grizzly bears tomorrow, the NFL will go on. The world won't stop spinning. Irsay has already made that point abundantly clear. He just wants to show the world how great a guy good ol' Jim Irsay is. 

"Wow, what an incredible person. Most billionaires are so selfish. They only look after themselves. But not Jim. Jim is out here saving the whales. He's such a great man"

Part of me feels like he's just running up the score on Jonathan Taylor by drumming up as much good publicity as possible, to make what he's doing to his star running back seem unimportant in the grand scheme of things. How can you be mad at a guy who's saving the whales?

Idk, that sounds kinda stupid when I type it out. Maybe that's a highly cynical way of me looking at something that's nothing more than a nice thing a man with unlimited money is trying to do for the world. I just assume everybody in life has ulterior motives. But regardless of the reason, this is another point on the board for Mr. Irsay. What a man he is. Bravo Jim. You're the hero we all need. PETA is gonna love this shit.