Michigan Fans Have Hit A New Low As They Are Now Making Burners And Harassing Themselves For Sympathy

College football rivalries are the best because every fanbase is slightly unhinged. They take games against their rival way too seriously and probably say and do some things that would freak out average everyday folk. I have to imagine plenty of newer relationships have ended after a dude took his new girlfriend to a tailgate where he chugged beers shirtless and then tried to fist fought the opposing school's mascot.

What's wrong babe? I thought you said you liked football?

And in college football there is no greater rivalry than Ohio State and Michigan. I don't care what those hicks down south claim, it's called "The Game" for a reason. And in recent years Ohio State has even been nice enough to let Michigan get back in on the fun and snag a few wins. Sometimes you have to let little brother win a few so they don't take their ball home and quit (like the Covid season).

Unfortunately, it seems letting those sissies in Ann Arbor back into the rivalry has drove them to do some pretty sad and deplorable stuff. Like this chick who lied about being physically threatened via DM by a burner account that SHE actually owns…

And how do we know this is actually her burner account? Well on Elon's completely stable, not at all chaotic website that has a porn name, you only see the "Edit Profile" button when it's your account.

We've seen a lot of pathetic behavior out of Michigan recently. Jim Harbaugh had to be suspended because he refuses to follow NCAA rules and then also lied about it after (great example you are setting for those very impressionable youth, Jimbo), the fan base cries like little bitches every time Ohio State lands another top tier recruit, and even their most famous alumni Tom Brady started dating his ex-wife's old co-worker.

That's just despicable behavior that would be unbecoming of a Buckeye.

But lying about someone threatening physical violence for attention, sympathy, and to stoke the flames of a rivalry? Michigan might as well give Jussie Smollett and honorary doctorate if this is the type of behavior they condone.

Harassing yourself for sympathy is about as low as it gets. We already had enough sympathy to let you back in the rivalry. What more do you people want?

Us Buckeyes believe in honor, integrity, and never lying under any circumstances. That's why we take the high road in these instances. In fact, we like to help out those less fortunate than us in the decorum department and remind them of things they have said in the past. This way maybe they can correct their infantile behavior moving forward.

You're welcome to this Michigan fan. 

And you're welcome to all Michigan fans for us allowing you to have a role in our rivalry again. It was far too boring when you were getting your doors blown off year after year and had nothing to speak about on the interwebs except whether or not we were cheating in recruiting because we are so damn good at it.

I'm still waiting on one mister Dave Portnoy to disavow this type of pitiful behavior. His silence on the matter is deafening.