Mermaid Bones Have Washed Up on Shore in Australia & FAQ's About Mermaids
News 18 - An astonishing discovery was made on a beach in Keppel Sands in Queensland, Australia, says a report in Daily Star. People stumbled upon a bone structure that left them in shock. A 34-year-old Bobbi-Lee Oates, who was taking a stroll on the beach, managed to capture a photo of the skeleton, now being called “Mermaid bones". At first glance, Oates couldn’t tell if she had come across the decomposed remains of a human or an entirely new species.
In the pictures that have surfaced online, the elongated body of the skeleton is clearly visible, along with the rib cage and spinal cord. Additionally, there is a skull resembling that of a human. Many people have been referring to it as the bones of a mermaid. However, this claim lacks support, as mermaids are fictional characters often depicted in films. Oates described the creature’s body as approximately six feet long.
Initially, they mistook it for a human bone. Oates stopped to closely examine the structure and dispel his confusion. She stated that it had a skull the size of a human, complete with a long jaw. The creature’s hair had a similar colour to that of a cow or kangaroo, but much of it was missing due to decomposition, she added. It resembled a mermaid but with hair and seemed to have a tail or some sort of limb.
Who knows what the hell that is? I do. It's a mermaid. I've never been more sure of something in my life. Miss me with any rational explanations. I'm choosing to believe it's a mermaid.
Well that's all I have on that subject. Here's some Friday afternoon nonsense for you. If you're not interested in mermaid related nonsense, then read no further.
There's a lot of misinformation spread around the internet about mermaids. People question their origin, whether or not they're real, do they or do they not have vaginas, etc. A whole lot of speculation by a whole lot of people who know a whole lot of nothing. I've put together of list of FAQ's that will hopefully clear some things up.
FAQ's - About Mermaids
Are mermaids real?
Yes, you saw the article and the tweet from The Daily Loud. The Daily Loud Twitter account is a credible news source who would never report anything that was not entirely factual.
Who is the most famous mermaid?
The most famous mermaid is Ariel from the critically acclaimed film, "The Little Mermaid". Ariel was a 16-year old mermaid who was pursued by an man named Prince Eric. Price Eric was far older than Ariel, and if he were to do that in the United States, he would be labeled a predator. However, the Little Mermaid takes place in the lost city of Atlantis (I think), which is located in international waters where the United States (or any country for that matter) has no jurisdiction. It's a lawless place. I would never let my daughter visit Atlantis.
Who saw the first mermaid?
Renowned small-pox blanket sailor boy Christopher Columbus is credited with seeing the first mermaid.
Europeana - In his journal he described the encounter with three mermaids that elevated themselves above the suface of the sea. Most likely mistaking manatees, aquatic mammals also known as sea cows, for mermaids, "Columbus, disposed to give a wonderful character to everything in this New World, had identified these misshapen animals with the sirens of ancient story", explained historian Washington Irving.
Columbus also added that the mermaids were by no means as beautiful as depicted in folk tales. Indeed, mermaids have been traditionally known as creatures of divine beauty. Across the globe, from generation to generation, legends have been told about the mesmerising voices of mermaids that bewitched sailors to join the underwater world.
From that article, we can clearly tell this is bullshit. To imply that mermaids are anything but hot & stacked women (or men) with sexy torsos and even sexier fins is wildly inaccurate.
Are all mermaids virgins because they don't have genitalia?
I think so. I just did a round of Google Images searches for a handful of phrases including "mermaid genitalia", "mermaid penis", "mermaid vagina", as well as a "mermaid" search into PornHub.com, and none of the not-at-all-upsetting pictures I came across showed any evidence of mermaid genitalia.
Does a mermaid's head game go crazy?
I would have to imagine so. The ocean is full of orally gifted men of women that would make famed pussy-eater Steven Cheah look like a batteryless vibrator.
But if they don't have genitalia then what are they even doing with their tongues?
I didn't think about that. Good point. But I bet they're awesome at making out.
Is it possible that mermaids are asexual creatures?
I haven't considered that, but it's entirely possible. Maybe that's why Atlantis is such a magical place. Can you imagine how productive our society would be if humans weren't interested in sex. We would all be geniuses. Like that episode of Seinfeld where George stops having sex and becomes a genius.
Without sex we definitely would have figured out a way to construct a magical underwater society by now. But we'd all be ugly as hell and smell like shit because there would be no incentive to look desirable to the opposite sex. Or maybe we'd all just be terrible drug addicts because we wouldn't have sex as an outlet, and would need some sort of vice. I don't know how we'd reproduce either. We'd be like those pandas in zoos where the zookeepers try everything to get them horny enough to fuck so that pandas don't go extinct as a species.
Would a mermaid be eligible to swim in the Olympics?
I would prefer to not get political.
If you could capture a mermaid, put it in a tank, and use it as the main attraction in some sort of Sea World-Freak Show exhibit, would you do it?
Yes. Do you know how much money you could pull in if you had a real-life mermaid in a tank? People would come from across the world to see my mermaid. I would keep the mermaid in my tank until I've made at least $1 million dollars, then I would give the mermaid a choice to either be let free, or continue being in my Sea World-Freak Show and have me cut her in for 50% of the profits. I get 100% profit for the first million (whether the mermaid likes it or not), but anything beyond that the mermaid has the option of getting cut in for half. It could be very lucrative for the mermaid as well.
What if after you make a million dollars the mermaid requests to be set free, and goes back to it's underwater home where they tell their mermaid friends about how you imprisoned them and they set out to enact revenge?
What the fuck are they gonna do? Crawl out of the water and flop up to my penthouse apartment in NYC that I bought with my mermaid money? Good luck fish-person.
Don't you think it's possible that they could get a group like PETA on their side and team up to take you down? Also wouldn't the entire world hate you? People already fucking loathe Sea World. Wouldn't your Sea World-Freak Show be even worse?
Look, we all have to make our nut somehow. I also don't think you realize how quickly I'd make $1 million dollars. The mermaid would be in my tank for like maybe a month before I was a millionaire. There would be virtually no overhead. Just a tank of salt water and some fish food to keep it alive, and the ticket sales would go straight into my pocket. More likely than not, after that first quick million, the mermaid would see how much money we could make, and we'd go into business together. If anything I would be looked at favorably by the mermaid community.
Why are they called mermaids and not sea centaurs?
Sea centaur is a slur in the mermaid community