A HEINOUS CRIME: Kentucky Is Currently Playing As Team USA And Someone Stole Their Shoes Off The Team Bus Before Yesterday's Game

I know it's July, but Kentucky is currently Team USA. That's just a fact. Either you cheer for America at the GLOBL Jam or you're cheering against this beautiful country. You pick. Not to mention these warmups are fucking gorgeous: 

You may be wondering what GLOBL Jam is, no problem! It's a round-robin event, taking place in Canada for U-23 teams - Germany, Canada, Africa and USA (Kentucky). Baylor played in it last year. All that good stuff. But that's not the point of the blog. I'm not even going to go crazy about Kentucky beating Germany yesterday afternoon and how Calipari actually, truly, looked like a real coach in 2023: 

Or how Tre Mitchell is a stretch player, how important Antonio Reeves is, how damn good DJ Wagner is or how Kentucky did this without Aaron Bradshaw and Ugo - two of the top three bigs on the roster. No, this is about finding justice for the sneakers. Someone stole Kentucky's sneakers! 

Team USA (Kentucky, again, is America here) plays Canada tonight at 8pm. If you don't think something is suspicious about this, think again. I don't trust Canada right now. They are trying to prove they belong on the big stage. They have the Jamal Murray's and the Shai's of the world, but they want to be a basketball power. What better time to strike than stealing Kentucky's shoes before the prestigious GLOBL Jam event?

Prestigious unless Kentucky loses a game

I will not rest until I find out the team has their shoes back. I will not rest until there's justice brought for trying to sabotage America's Team. I will not rest until I fix (complain enough) Kentucky's lack of success the last few years. You're either for America's Team or rooting against our own country the next couple days.