This Screaming Woman Being Dragged Out By Airport Security Wants To Know If She's Hot Enough To Kiss

Time for a #HealthyDebate. Would you kiss this woman? Is she hot enough for you? Who's the Head Honcho?

I only pose these questions because she asked it herself. I would never speculate that way about a woman's looks if she didn't ask me to.

Personally, I'm going to go with yes. She's an attractive woman. The dress she's wearing does kind of have "the polygamous Church of Latter-Day Saints" vibes, which isn't the type of woman I typically go for, but I would never judge someone based on their choice of cult. I joined one myself about a year ago and it's the best decision I've ever made.

I'm curious as to what set her off in the first place. She appears to be in an airport bar. I bet she was merely enjoying a delicious watered down $23 dollar cocktail in her finest Handmaid's Tale outfit while she awaited her flight to Salt Lake City, when all of the sudden she had the urge for a smooch. We've all been there. You're overcome with a feeling of loneliness, and begin longing for the physical touch of another humans lips. You survey the airport and take note of all the beautiful happy couples excited for their upcoming trip across the country, and you wish you had what they had. Next thing you know, the Xanax you took an hour ago mixes with the alcohol in your blood stream, and you find yourself standing on the bar wailing at the top of your lungs, demanding a kiss from the nearest security guard.

The security guards handled this screaming woman terribly. I'm willing to bet if any one of them would have simply smooched her as she so politely requested, it would have diffused the situation entirely. That's the problem with people nowadays. Nobody listens. Instead they went with the, "drag her out of the airport/break her bones" method. I hope she at least got to speak with the Head Honcho. The airports have been taking a series of L's lately. Chalk this up as another one.

One more thing. I'm officially petitioning for Barstool Sports to change our name to Barstool Airport Related Freakouts. I'm starting to realize that airport freakouts are what pay the bills around these parts. I know I watch every one that comes across my desk. The internet eats them up. I'm starting to think if someone wanted to, they could start a media company based solely on the backs of airport related freakouts. I don't know if it would light the internet on fire. But I bet they'd get enough traffic to make a modest living somewhere in the Midwest. Somebody should try that. That idea's free.