Is Nothing Sacred Anymore??? The Men's Hot Dog Eating Contest Has Been Canceled Due To Weather

America is finished. First we got a "lightning delay" which was clearly a tactic used to stop the throat goat Joey Chestnut himself:

That's some incredibly important intel for future hot dog eating contests. Tightened hot dogs is just screaming to (responsibly) hammer the under. Then they hit us with the straight up cancellation on the most important sporting day of the year.

I don't have much more words besides disappointment and pure sadness on what is supposed to be a celebration of the red, white, and blue. If we don't get this type of apology from whoever is running a hot dog eating contest Twitter account then we're officially done for:

Joey Chestnut should just hop on an Instagram Live and do the contest indoors his damn self. It's him vs his body every year anyway, so cut all the extra stuff and let him cook. Zoom hot dog eating contest? Electric factory. Or this:

Sorry to the best to ever do it Joey Chestnut that they're trying to suppress greatness. We only have so many of these left and it's a pure shame we haven't found an alternative for the rain after a zillion years of doing this thing. Imagine being scared of lightning? Some fucking lightning?

Enjoy your 4th even though it will be a lot harder to now. It's a sad day it's a bad day. Only one man can rise through the depths of a little weather to give us the hot dog eating content we so desperately crave on a day like today:

There goes my hero.