Grandparent Racing Is The Sport Of The Future And Includes As Many Old People Falling As You Would Think

Yes, yes, a million times YES!!! Because I went to Siena College (we love our Saints), I am friends with a ton of people who live near Saratoga, which has led me to visit the race track more times than I can count. Now while I love a place that has a bunch of outside seating, a BYOB policy, and a ton of beautiful rich women, I hate the fuck out of horse racing. Maybe it's because my simpleton brain can't compute the orgy of numbers on the daily race form or I don't like losing money on gigantic animals that have no clue they are being bet on. But I've just never been a horse racing guy, dog racing guy, or any kind of racing guy. Actually the Olympics are pretty cool every four years when the fastest humans on the planet gather. But I don't need to watch a bunch of fast people race a bunch of other fast people at some random track meet in February.

But grandparents racing is something I can get behind! Watching a bunch of random nanas and pop pops test out their balance and new hips on a bunch of dirt is what sports is all about. The triumph of the human spirit, the beauty of the great unknown, and of course bloopers (which will happen a ton when you have Olds running faster than their bodies will possibly allow).

Obligatory sports bloopers video because they always play.

So congrats to Emerald Downs on being the preeminent home of the sport of the future, which I feel like will be a good home considering they already have the multi-camera view going so the viewer at home won't miss any of the action/falls.

P.S. I also think when mankind inevitably creates a real life Hunger Games, we should have old people sent out instead of young people. Yeah, it won't have the same amount of athleticism or drama that comes with young people. But seeing some old coots use their brains to set traps will be great and I feel like the general public won't rebel against the rich fucks putting on the Hunger Games since most of the people in The Games will probably be on their way out anyway.

P.P.S. The trailer for The Hunger Games prequel looks siiiiiiick.