Thoughts And Prayers To Anyone That Gets Invited To An October 21st Wedding This College Football Season

First of all, let’s make one thing very clear: Saturday weddings in the Fall should be illegal. There’s no doubt in my mind that if the sport of football was invented before this great country was founded, then that clause would have been included in the Bill of Rights. You think Tommy Jefferson would miss his Hoos play to go to Jimmy Madison’s wedding? I think not.

The fact of the matter is that we need a 28th amendment to the Constitution, and that’s to make wedding season take a break from September through November. Unfortunately we have politicians arguing tooth and nail over shit that does not matter, so it appears we’re about to have another Fall of being forced to miss football games or hide our phones in the back of the church, have people huddled around the TV if they’re lucky enough to have one at the venue, and completely not pay attention to the Bride and Groom.

Couples realize that, right? Yeah, you might get your Fall foliage photos, but everyone hates you and debates skipping your wedding and has no fun while they’re there, likely leaving early if they can.And this Fall, the date when all of that will be happening is October 21st, hands down the best Saturday of this season. Click on that tweet to enlarge, or here’s the full schedule:

Amazing and disgusting at the same time. Big time matchups in all regions of the United States. That's an Ohio State vs. Penn State Big Noon kickoff game through 10:30 pm Utah vs. USC for the Pac 12 championship kind of slate. What a beautiful day that could be for (bride and groom) college football fans across the country. And if you have a wedding scheduled, there’s still time to fix it! 

If you absolutely cannot move it, I have two options for you:

1: Quickly get married and then take the wedding party to the game like this Penn State fan

Rob Tringali. Getty Images.

2: Just get married at the tailgate like these Buckeye fans did

Jeff Haynes. Getty Images.

That's call being married to your spouse and to the game.

Oh, and if anyone plans on inviting me to a wedding on October 21st, save the postage. My RSVP is No.