Costco Is About To Drop The Hammer On Freeloaders That Borrow Their Family/Friends Membership Cards

Tim Boyle. Getty Images.

CNN- Some shoppers are buying Costco’s $4.99 rotisserie chickens and paying at self-checkout. The problem: They aren’t all members.

Since Costco has expanded self-checkout, the company has noticed that non-members have been sneaking in to use membership cards that don’t belong to them. The warehouse club retailer will now ask for shoppers’ membership cards along with a photo ID to use the self-checkout registers – the same policy as regular checkout lanes.

“We don’t feel it’s right that nonmembers receive the same benefits and pricing as our members,” Costco said in a statement.

Costco had around 66 million paid members and 119 million cardholders in 2022, making it one of the largest membership clubs in the world. Costco members pay either $60 for a regular membership or $120 for an executive card every year to shop at clubs.

The company has not raised the cost of its membership since 2017, despite rivals such as Amazon and Sam’s Club raising their membership fees. Costco has hinted it may soon raise its membership price.

Look, I'm usually a man of the people when it comes to sticking it to corporations by sharing memberships/passwords/whatever else to help keep a few extra bucks in the pockets of the hard working men and women of this world. But as a longtime Costco member, I can't be more in line with a giant corporation as I am with Costco trying to rid themselves of these cheapskates.

Costco is a magical place full of great items at incredible discount prices thanks to the system that has been put in place. I'm not quite sure how it all works to be honest because the mere thought of the purchasing system of Costco makes my brain hurt and causes me to feel dizzy. But just know that the deals you are getting and the flat out UNBELIEVABLE return policy is powered by the people paying for their memberships.

The company has not raised the cost of its membership since 2017, despite rivals such as Amazon and Sam’s Club raising their membership fees. Costco has hinted it may soon raise its membership price.

The fees help boost the company’s profit and offset expenses, allowing Costco to keep its prices down. Costco is known for offering some of the lowest prices in the retail industry.

Any changes to membership growth or renewal rates could hurt Costco and force it to raise prices.

You see that last line? That's the big one, which is why I used the BOLD feature from Barstool's 2001 blogging suite. There is a chance that all the wonderful prices we've become accustomed to over the years will go up because of these freeloaders sneaking into Costco like common street rats. I'm not just talking 10,0000 square feet of aluminum foil for like $10 or even the $5 rotisserie chickens. That's right, I'm talking about the fabric of the Costco experience that has somehow remained $1.50 through all the financial chaos caused by inflation, recessions, and a bunch of other fancy financial words that end in "ion".

If the price of the 1/4 pound PLUS all beef hot dog and 20 oz. soda (WITH REFILLS!!!) goes above $1.50, I'm not sure what will happen. I'm not talking about just at the Costco food court or to Costco members in general. I'm not sure what will happen to our society, which to be honest seems to be resting on a razor's edge right now, once the totem of life stops spinning. 

However I do know what will happen to Costco's president if this happens and it ain't great!

When Costco president W. Craig Jelinek once complained to Costco co-founder and former CEO Jim Sinegal that their monolithic warehouse business was losing money on their famously cheap $1.50 hot dog and soda package, Sinegal listened, nodded, and then did his best to make his take on the situation perfectly clear. "If you raise [the price of] the effing hot dog, I will kill you," Sinegal said. "Figure it out."

Taking his words to heart, Jelinek—who became Sinegal's successor in 2012—has never raised the price on Costco's hot dog. Incredibly, it has sold for the same $1.50 since the retail club first introduced the dogs to customers in 1984. The quarter-pound, all-beef tube and 20-ounce soda combo appears to be inflation-proof and immune to the whims of food distributors. 

That's right. These cheapskates are going to have a man's blood on their hands along with plunging our civilization into darkness. I've long been a fan of self-checkout, which will probably put me on Rico's Skell List. But I think I may have to change alliances, which is actually easy to do since I'm pretty sure the war against the machines is imminent.

So if you are one of the people taking advantage of the system, just pony up the $60 yearly fee, which calculates out to five fucking dollars per month, smile when you take the picture for your membership card, and keep our society in one piece. Trust me, having your own Costco membership card pays off and I'm not just talking about the savings that comes with buying in bulk.