Hero Horse Girl Saves a Man's Life By Rolling Around in Horse Shit
Don't we all know a girl like this.
"Oh my goddddd, would it be soooo totally crazyyy of me to roll around in this pile of horse shit?"
"LMFAOO CASSANDRAAAA YOU'RE SO FUCKING WILDDDDDD"
Remember the horse girl from your elementary school? She did things like talk about horses, wear horse clothing, had horse folders, and even kind of looked like a horse in the face? This is her all grown up.
It's the natural progression of a horse girl. You start out getting really into My Little Pony at a young age. You have your parents locate a farm where they can take you every day to brush the horses. Maybe if you're real lucky your parents lease you a horse in middle school. You name the horse something stupid like 'Cinnamon' or 'Passion'. You learn to ride, join the equestrian club in high school, enter some competitions, win a few colorful oversized ribbons, etc. Then once you hit college, you and your friends take a summer trip to Austin and you roll around in a pile of fresh horse poop. It's a tale as old as time.
What an idiot. What concoction of drugs and alcohol could possibly lead someone to the point of covering themselves in shit in front of a large audience of phone cameras. She must be so embarrassed, right? Wrong. Horse poop took to Instagram to explain herself.
My god! I owe this poop girl an apology. Check and mate internet. Poop girl is nothing short of a hero. Don't we all feel stupid now. And here I was thinking this act was nothing more than the drunken peak of a bachelorette party. I had no idea she was saving a life. Love and prayers to the goddess for protection over the man!
Obviously I wasn't there, so I can't say for sure if this girls act of heroism truly accomplished what she says it did. It's safe to say I have my doubts. But regardless of whether or not her story is true, what an incredible spin zone. Most girls when they go viral for rolling around street manure delete all social media, crawl into a hole for the next month, and wait out the storm. But not this girl. This girl came out swinging. And the poop incident wasn't even her final act of heroism that night. She went straight to a night club to fight for local musicians. Bravo poop girl. Austin thanks you. You're an example to us all.