After Watching The Chaos A Storm Unleashed On A Cruise Ship, I Am Perfectly Fine Never Going On A Cruise Again

Gonna chalk this one up as yet another reason not to travel the seven seas for a vacation to go along with the orcas smashing boats like the Dudley Boyz smashed tables, the submarines making treacherous journeys despite being made out of stuff that could implode, and of course the off chance all these UFOs flying around are potentially actually coming from the depths of the big blue sea.

I mean I guess the idea of a cruise seems nice in theory. You can hit multiple destinations for a fraction of the time/price it would usually cost to fly there, a fully stocked boat loaded up with tons of different foods and booze seems like a dream, and of course there is always the implication.

However once you set sail, you realize all those brochures and commercials don't show you that your cabin is likely a 3x3 room with no windows that not even a New Yorker would be $2000 a month to rent, that booze you need to get away from the reality that is living on a cruise ship with other people that chose to go on a cruise costs an arm and a leg, and you can get absolutely mollywhopped from above or below if Poseidon woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I knew Mother Nature could get nasty but her throwing a damn deck chair at a stroller is uncouth as fuck for anybody, let alone a mom.

I've always been #TeamPool for life because I don't like sand, crowded beaches, or the off chance a shark may take a bit out of my oversized ass. And based on all the news the last few weeks as well as this video, I don't see that changing anytime soon, no matter how funny it was to see a guy start running like he was Mario after getting star power.