Breaking News: Taylor Swift Wants Us To Leave John Mayer Alone When Speak Now (Taylor's Version) Comes Out

There we have it, ya'll. Last night was night 2 of Taylor's Minneapolis tour and her first secret surprise song was Dear John from the Speak Now album. EVERYONE has been wondering whether or not she would play this on the tour, and if/how she would acknowledge that it's clearly about John Mayer. Her message is clear: Leave John Mayer Alone!!!

While I am of course, completely aligned with anything Mother says, I won't sit here and pretend that we weren't all guilty of meme'ing Jake Gyllenhaal to death when All Too Well (10 Minute Version) came out. Who knew that we were all going to get so fierce about him online! (we all knew, obviously, we all knew.) There eventually comes a time in a young Swiftie's life, where we need to know when to tone it back and settle down. We can't keep going on with this same energy towards everyone! People won't take us seriously! Or, some clearly deserve it more than others! Who knows! 

I have one single bone to pick about this, and it's the fact she said "someone you think I wrote a song about." True, Taylor never confirms outright. But this one's a little too on the nose for us to be playing coy Blondie, we all know that. We heard you loud and clear, John Mayer is safe.

(Good thing, too, because I've always been a John Mayer music stan and hopefully now I can stop shifting my Spotify into private mode every time I want to listen to Continuum.)