Fact: Regular Tots Are A Significantly More Shareable Appetizer Than Loaded Tots
This glorious tray of tater tots recently showed up to the Stanley Cup celebration in Las Vegas.
Holy moly. That, my friends, is what every tray of tots should look like.
I know there are going to be some bozos in the chat who aren't amazed by those tots. You'll have a bunch of children talking about how these tots aren't even loaded. But let me tell you a little something about loaded tots (and loaded nachos for that matter)--they are without a doubt the most overrated appetizer in the world when shared.
Don't get me wrong. If you get loaded tots or loaded nachos for yourself, it doesn't get much better than that. But when it comes to sharing them? The idea of loaded tots is infinitely better than the practicality of actually sharing them. One person always grabs that one tot or chip that seemingly holds the entire thing together. One tot pulls up at least 12 tots worth of cheese and bacon bits. Then what? Is that person supposed to just peel all the cheese and bacon bits off to place them back in with the rest of the tots? Get his greasy hands all over everything? Or does he keep it all to himself and then everybody else is left with just plain tots and maybe a little bit of cheese? You can't share loaded tots or loaded nachos, and it's time for everybody to realize that.
When you are sharing, it's best to just keep it simple. And these tots right here? Well they are the perfection of simplicity. Each and every single one of them is deliciously golden brown. I'd imagine every one of them has the perfect level of crunch to them. Not a single soggy tot in the bench. Do you have any idea the level of difficulty it takes to achieve that? Heck, you could be making a batch of just 20 tots and you might end up with a few that are soggy. This looks like 10 square feet of tots, and all of them are perfect. You have to be a James Beard caliber chef to pull that off. Then you add in the array of dipping sauces for everybody to pick their poison from? It's glorious. I'm so happy for Phil that he got to crush those.
My only hang up is that you could have plated the tots inside the bowl of the Cup. But maybe that's where they have the bacon bits and chives hiding.