Important Update: 3x Stanley Cup Champion Phil Kessel Has Already Crushed Some Hot Dogs Out Of The Cup Again

Phil Kessel was put on this Earth to do 2 things--Win Stanley Cups, and dominate some pork missiles. Turns out he's already won the Cup three times, so there's only one thing left to do. And according to Jack Eichel, Phil the Thrill has already been dummying some meat rockets out of Lord Stanley's Cup again. 

Is this a verified confirmation? Not exactly. And I'd have to imagine that Eichel has been swimming in tequila ever since the Golden Knights won the Cup last week, so this claim wouldn't necessarily hold up in court. But I'm going to go ahead and believe that Jack Eichel is an extremely reliable source, and just take this one as fact. 

And you know what? This is just a mature decision from Phil Kessel. The older you get, the more you realize that you absolutely need to eat when you're boozing your face off. Not because you'll get too drunk if you drink on an empty stomach, but because the hangover is going to end your life for the next 6 days. Glizzies might put you on the IR for a couple of hours with heartburn, but they'll save your life when the next morning rolls around. So I'm glad to see that Phil Daddy is out here taking great care of himself. The body is a temple, men.