Woman Freaks Out On A Plane Because She Just Wants To Get To (checks notes) Cleveland?

I love Cleveland with all my heart. It's my home. I'd put the summers here up against anywhere in the country. The people here support my career and show me way more love than I deserve. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, should ever want to go to Cleveland this badly.

"I'm going to make an international incident!"

Ma'am I assure you the Polka/Softball Hall of Fame (a very real place) and our two skyscrapers will still be there whenever you are done getting dicked around by the discount airline you booked through. I'm guessing Spirit based on the level of anger they have drawn out of this nice midwestern grandma.

The only time anyone ever says they want to go to Cleveland is an athlete who is lying to get a contract or someone who is going into witness protection. The lake is beautiful, The Flats are as fun as any area in the country, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is dope as hell, but no one outside of Cleveland ever really wants to go to Cleveland.

Mistake on the lake? Not to this lady. She slept with the drummer from the Michael Stanley Band one time in the early 80s and she wants to relive her slutty youth asap. Don't you dare try and deprive Sheryl of that.

Cleveland has grown a ton since Mike Polk's viral Cleveland tourism video.

And by "a ton" I mean we have another new building or two and they pushed all the homeless people out of Public Square. A true American comeback story if I have ever seen one.

I always tell people that if you visit Cleveland for a long weekend in the summer you would leave saying it's one of the most criminally underrated cities in America. Hell, you could only go to Dante's bars and have one damn good time. But if you stay one more day and experience a Monday night you will be the exact opposite of this lady. Doing anything you can to get the fuck out of Cleveland.

They basically roll up the sidewalks from Monday afternoon until Thursday evening. There are days you can walk down the middle of the street downtown like it's a sequel to I Am Legend, but instead of zombies it's angry homeless folks and crackheads hiding in the shadows.

If you ever do want to come to Cleveland hit me up. I'd love to show you around. There is a lot to love. Just not enough to cause an International Incident. Save that type of passion for San Diego.