King Of The Castle! Turkish Man Knocks Down Wall To Discover Underground City In What I Call A Dream Scenario

NY Post - A Turkish homeowner chasing his chickens through a hole in his basement during renovations came across an abandoned underground Turkish city that once housed 20,000 people.

In an effort to recapture his escaping poultry, the unidentified man knocked down the wall in the 1960s to reveal a dark tunnel leading to the ancient city of Elengubu, known today as Derinkuyu.

Derinkuyu, burrowed more than 280 feet beneath the Central Anatolian region of Cappadocia, is the largest excavated underground city in the world and is believed to connect to more than 200 smaller, separate underground cities that were discovered in recent decades, Turkish guides told the BBC.

Inside the subterranean city — whose entrances connect to more than 600 private homes in the modern, surface-level region of Cappadocia — researchers found 18 levels of tunnels containing dwellings, dry food storage, cattle stables, schools, wineries, and even a chapel.

The city was also equipped with a ventilation system that supplied its residents with fresh air and water.

Literally out of a movie. I don't think I could live anywhere outside the US because as much crazy shit goes on in this country, I feel like it's nowhere near the stuff outside the US. In the last week I wrote about a lady waking up at her own vigil, and today we have full blown underground cities. Now take an average person and put them on a subway line in NYC for an hour and they will probably argue that the stuff going on there is wilder than this shit, but regardless ... some crazy stuff goes down outside America. 

Now as wild as this occurrence is, I really do consider it a dream scenario. This guy stumbled into what I like to call ... Loophole City, and he's the mayor. 

If I was this guy, I would immediately change my address to this new city (or old decrepit city) and start claiming positions of power for me and my friends. Donnie Damage ... Secretary of Defense and also head bartender. Mikeyy Blingzz ... Social Affairs Liaison and Full Time Entertainment Director. The next thing I would do is start writing up laws that favor me. In Loophole City there are no taxes, there are also no traffic lights, no fines unless ordered by the mayor, and anything else you can come up with that works in your favor. 

Lastly, I would begin negotiation with Turkey to buy me out for a massive sum, or start being a major pain in the ass and do everything I can to force either a merger or a buyout. Loud music ... drilling, threaten expansion ...everything. Do everything you can to get paid out. Now all of this is completely illegal, but I come from the fake it til you make it school in terms of the law. Also Turkey hasn't used this in 60 years ... some lawyer or judge will make a case out of this. What's the old phrase? Possession in 92 tenths of the law , or something like that? Claim the city and take the government to the cleaners as best you can. 

Finally... it's gotta be pretty cool to be the mayor of your own city.