Bad Beat: Man Shoots Himself While Sleeping, Wakes Up A Felon With A Bullet In His Leg

CBS News - A 62-year-old man is facing firearms charges in Illinois after authorities say he accidentally shot himself in the leg in his sleep —while dreaming that he was defending himself against an "intruder" in his home. 

The man, identified as Mark Dicara of Lake Barrington, used a .357 Magnum revolver that he owned to fire the shot at around 9:50 p.m. on April 10, the Lake County government said in a news release issued on Tuesday. According to Lake County sheriff's deputies, on the night of the incident Dicara dreamed someone was breaking into his home, and retrieved the gun to shoot at whomever he believed was the "intruder." 

But, when he fired the revolver, Dicara shot himself in the leg instead and woke from the dream, a subsequent investigation found. Authorities also confirmed during the probe that an attempted burglary did not happen at Dicara's residence, and there was no intruder on his property.

Came across this fun little story on Reddit (as one does at Barstool Sports). Naturally, your mind immediately goes to Plaxico Burress. I was a teenager when Plaxico Burress shot Plaxico Burress. I didn't fully understand how gun laws worked in this country, and I remember being confused as to why he was getting trouble for shooting himself. Isn't blasting a hole in your own leg punishment enough? It's not like he's hurting anybody other than him. But obviously that's not how things work at New York City night clubs. That's the last place you're going to get away with discharging your Glock.

Call me old fashioned, and I don't mean to get political, but I think you should be allowed to shoot yourself in the comfort of your own home. But that's just me. Hard to argue with the fact that this particular shooter/shooting victim didn't register his weapon. You gotta be registering your revolver's this day and age. But that's still a very tough pill to swallow. I can't think of a more hopeless feeling than ruining your life while fast asleep. Shooting yourself while dreaming is just a terrible beat. It's a beat so bad it would make Scott Van Pelt giddier than when the Mets blow a 3-run lead in the bottom of the 9th. 

There's nothing you can do to prevent it either. Your sleep-self is a complete fucking wildcard. You can't control your sleep-self. Obviously people will say, "if he didn't have a gun in the first place this never would have happened" which I guess you can't really argue in this case. But who's to say your sleep self isn't capable of driving to the gun store. Or stabbing yourself in the throat. Or jumping out of your window. A person should never have to worry about committing a crime in their sleep. That's just not fair.

I wonder what went through this man's mind when he woke up. You know how you feel that incredible sense of relief when you wake up from a terrible nightmare? Now imagine the opposite of that. Imaging waking up, and realizing that the reality of your situation is actually worse than what was happening in your nightmare. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. I would never sleep again. I'd be going to the doctor and demanding a prescription for 300 mg of Vyvanse per day. And if he says no, I'm dusting off the old meth pipe. Whatever you gotta do to keep yourself awake. There's no telling what you're capable of if you allow yourself to doze off again.  

Moral of the story: Every time you fall asleep, there's a non-zero chance you wake up a felon. Keep that in mind. Sleep safely everyone.