Teachers are Complaining About the Latest Trend in Students: Kids as Old as 11 Still Wearing Diapers

YOSHIKAZU TSUNO. Getty Images.

When you really think about it, diapers get a bad rap. They're considered a necessary evil, but something you want to grow out of by the time you turn 2, and don't ever want to have to get back into. 

As a father who was unfortunately born after the generations when no dad was ever expected to handle baby diapers, I pulled two tours of duty (Doody? That's awful even by Dad Joke standards, but it stays in the blog) at the changing table. And was relieved to finally get my Honorable Discharge. (That also stays.) Now as more and more friends of mine see their parents and grandparents get old. I find myself having a lot of conversations where we vow that if we ever get to the stage when our kids are changing our diapers, we're pulling the plug. Because no one wants to be remembered for the giant deuce they left in a Depends. Or in an Oops! I Crapped My Pants:

But really, is it so bad? I mean, can anything beat the comfort, ease and convenience that comes from just doing your business whenever and wherever the need arises? At some level, isn't it preferable than having to stop what you're doing, move to some room down the hall, lock yourself in there and let your bodily functions … um, function? Isn't it more productive to just stay where you are and not be a slave to your digestive system? 

It seems like a generation of parents agree. And as you'd suspect, those grumpy, cantankerous, judgmental, sticks in the mud who teach their children have a big, fat problem with kids showing up to class still not potty trained. As late as middle school:

Source - Teachers in Switzerland are complaining about too many students wearing diapers in class because they don’t know how to use the toilet.

“Kids are going to school as early as 4 years old now, so yeah, you might actually find some still in diapers,” Dagmar Rösler, head of the Swiss Federation of Teachers, told Swiss newspaper 20 Minuten.

“When 11-year-olds come to school in diapers, that’s a worrying trend.”

Many tots have become so accustomed to wearing diapers that they lose interest in transitioning out of the convenient but unsanitary method. …

“Some parents let it slide because diapers are a convenient relief. It’s not seen as a problem these days,” said educational scientist Margrit Stamm. “That sends a totally wrong message.” …

Kids wearing diapers in school has “skyrocketed,” child development expert Rita Messmer told the Sonntagszeitung, revealing she had an 11-year-old patient who wasn’t taught how to use the toilet on their own.

The children’s lack of knowledge becomes a burden for many teachers, who have to assist students with soaked diapers.

Pffft. Get over yourselves, teachers. What do you think the taxpayers of Switzerland are paying you for if not to clean change their preteens diapers? 

Besides, you don't just simply start a kid on toilet training at 18 months and in a couple of weeks they're stocking the sewers with Brownfish  to beat the band. That's 20th century thinking. Something that was probably a snap back in the old days when all they had to distract them with were blocks and teddy bears and the like. Now they're playing with iPads while they're still in the crib. They have them permanently attached to their hands 24/7. YOU try and get them away from a game of Animal Crossing long enough to learn how to move their bowels like big kids and clean themselves up after. I'm sure it's a ton of work these days in ways my generation could never imagine. 

So these parents are doing the right thing. Don't bother making the effort. When the children hit 12 or 13, they'll figure it out on their own. Or better yet, the schools will get so sick of having hundreds of diapers to change every day, they'll start teaching kids how to shit like adults. Then you're off the hook. Boom. Problem solved. The teachers might not like it. But in the 21st century, anything that saves people from actually parenting their kids is the solution we're going to choose every time.

The broader point though, is that we're not gonna make it, are we?

The meteor can't get here fast enough.