I’m A Big Fat Beardless Idiot

Since I was a kid my big, fat mouth always got me into trouble. Whether it was physically getting me into trouble by overeating, running my mouth to a teacher and getting detention/suspended, or talking shit and having it get thrown back in my face. One way another it was always my big fat stupid mouth getting me into less than ideal predicaments. But when I thought I had done it all and learned my lessons (other than overeating and not exercising) running my mouth to talk shit got me in trouble yet again. 

At the very beginning of the NBA playoffs we had a discussion on Picks Central about how real the Nuggets were. I was adamantly against them. It wasn’t personal by any means, I just felt they didn’t have what it took to get out of the western conference. I was so arrogant in my convictions that I was willing to wage my beard against literally nothing. What an ignorant asshole I am. 

I thought either the Suns, Warriors or Lakers all could beat them in a seven game series. Not only was I wrong, I was so wrong that the Nuggets packed it up my ass every chance they could. Ran through the playoffs with ease. Embarrassed my last hope Lakers in a four game sweep. Before the Finals started it was already over. My fate had been sealed. 

Full disclosure I have not been clean shaven in nearly a decade. There’s sections of these fat cheeks that haven’t seen daylight since Obama’s first term. I look fat, grotesque, round…… but sneaky cute? That’s what the nice people have been telling me at least.