These Naked Woman Caught On Camera Eating a Dead Deer Carcass Are Not Witches, They're People Just Like You and Me

NY Post - A Canadian nature lover’s attempt to capture wildlife on camera backfired terrifyingly after she inadvertently documented what appeared to be “naked witches eating a carcass” at night right by her house.

Social media posts depicting the alleged deer-crunching coven are currently blowing up online, with viewers speculating the nighttime noshers were conducting some sort of satanic ritual.

To each their own. I'm the type of guy who never judges people for living their own lives. We all have our own weird hobbies, mannerisms, kinks, etc. Just because I don't understand something, or maybe don't like it, that doesn't mean those people any better or worse than me. If you and your best bitch want to strip down to your loin cloths and wander out into the Canadian wilderness to suck-off the decaying bones of a multi-day-old dead deer carcass, then more power to you. That is your right as a free citizen. 

[please take a moment to give me a standing ovation for being a progressive king]

That being said, don't spit in my face and tell me it's raining. Don't sell me on witches and deliver me… this.. Like I've never seen Hocus Pocus. Like I've never listened to the musical styling of Stevie Nicks. Like I didn't bust-off to Sabrina The Teenage Witch as a horny 6th grader.  Did I miss the part of their video where they rode in on their broomsticks?  Is their black cat somewhere off screen? Did tall pointy hats go out of style in the witch community? I highly doubt that.

Also, if a couple of witches come across a dead deer carcass, they're not going to slurp the bones dry with their mouths. They're going to throw the remains in a boiling cauldron and create a potion that makes the love of your life fall in love with you, but also has undisclosed life-altering consequences for whoever dares to drink it, and the curse won't be reversed until the main character throws water on the witch or something fucking stupid like that. 

These aren't witches. They're people. It's 2023 for Christ sake. We shouldn't be so quick to demonize the indigenous tree people of the Northern Territories for their diets. Maybe we don't agree with their pro-rabies lifestyle, but it's not our place to tell them how to live. God speed, freaks.