Noah Syndergaard On His Continued Struggles With The Dodgers: “I Would Give Away My Hypothetical First-Born To Be The Old Me.”

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Normally when you're a struggling vet and head over to the Dodgers they're able to find something in you to become productive. Those motherfuckers will squeeze every ounce of good you have left in your body. I don't know how to explain it, but they run a rehabilitation factory over there and no one bothers to question it. 

This has not happened with Noah Syndergaard. 

Through 11 starts so far he's posted a 6.54 ERA over 52.1 IP while only striking out just 35. Today was rock bottom as he was knocked around by the Washington Nationals to the tune of five runs over five innings including three homers. Just take a look at his baseball savant page compared to his prime back in 2016. No real need to understand what everything means, just know red is great and blue is bad. 

Yeah, not ideal. 

Now given the circumstances it's good for an athlete to keep things positive, no matter how bleak things appear. You gotta always have that belief in yourself. It's what keeps the great ones going when shit hits the fan. Here was Thor's outlook after the outing today. 

Not sure that's the advice you'd get from listening to some Call Her Daddy episodes. 

Safe to say the man is going THROUGH it. I mean holy moly is that a sad, but also hilarious quote. Fuck them kids, I guess? They don't even exist yet, and probably never will. Getting old sucks for anyone, specifically for an athlete who used to be dominant like Noah. The mental nose dive those guys take when all your abilities vanish is enough to kill someone. The depressing part here is that Syndergaard is only 30. Dude has just been debilitated by injury after injury. This is a pitcher who used to have some of the most unhittable stuff in the game. Boy are we far away from that now. 

You know what? Maybe he should try hypnosis to trick himself that he's 24 years old again. 

Wait he said what a couple weeks ago? 

Alright, cross that one off. 

Maybe just give up on being a starter at this point and hope your stuff plays a tick better out of the pen? That's the realistic plan. 

The out of the box one that a sensible brain wouldn't suggest? Steroids. Maybe some sticky stuff. Possibly both if necessary. Not really sure what else the man can do at this point to turn it around. Might as well go broke and exhaust all options. Get caught, just retire and open up a surf shop. Serious dating might be tough with the whole "give away your kid to pitch better" quote, but being a pretty rich tall person certainly should lead to some happiness the rest of the way.