I Rewatched 'Ted' And, Sadly, It Doesn't Hold Up That Well

We've been posting these graphics for a while so I figured why not editorialize them? 

FAST X: I have a full review here and you can also watch our full review from the last episode here. For those of you short on time, here is the nuts and bolts of it. Is it fast? Yes. Is it furious? Yes. Is it built for people with room temperature IQs? Also yes. It's a structural ripoff of the Dark Knight with Jason Momoa playing a more flamboyant version of the joker which actually kinda works. It is good by Fast standards but that's like calling it the valedictorian of summer school. 

Fast 9 (HBO Max): I rewatched it ahead of Fast X and liked it way less than the first time. All the weird, meta shit combined with a piss-poor villain in Jakob and medieval friar haircut having ass Charlize Theron was just so god damn dumb. 

Pearl Harbor (HBO Max): In my brain, this movie is one of the weirdest 1-2 punches of WW2 movies ever alongside Saving Private Ryan. Basically a combo from the Scary Movie 2 butler. 

Even thought the movie is TANKED by a seemingly endless romantic subplot, I still have fond, nostalgic feelings for watching this movie and then playing Medal of Honor: Rising Sun on PS2 with my younger brother. This was my first rewatch in a while and I basically did it the Skyler White Breaking Bad method: I fast-forwarded every scene involving the love triangle and only watched the action. Instead of a 3 hour long SLOG, what I ended up with was a 1-1/2 hour solid war movie. I honestly recommend trying it that way. 

Ted (Netflix): Like a lot of people reading this, I loved the movie when it came out. I was 19 when it came out which is basically right in the sweet spot of impressionable humor. This was my first rewatch in a long time and I gotta say, didn't hold up as well as I had hoped. A lot of the classic lines still totally work but some is just really cringey. A great example is a the thunder buddies song. I remember thinking that moment rocked when I first watched it but it had me sucking in my teeth this time. 

Shameless (Netflix): I'm closing in on the end of Season 3 which is getting me a little scared. When I first started talking about how I was watching this for the first time, the response from everyone was basically the same: The show is great but it falls off a cliff. I've gotten differing opinions on which season is the start of the dive but I am dreading it. As someone who grew up clipping coupons, selling scrap metal, chipping in for the oil bill etc. this show hits a great note with me. Super funny and gritty which I love. 

JJBA Battle Tendency (Netflix): This is just for the anime heads but, honestly, I think a lot of non-anime fans could get into JJBA. The first few two seasons are basically an anime Indiana Jones series except every character is built like a cast member of 'Predator'. I've probably rewatched the series 3 or 4 times at this point and I don't plan on stopping any time soon. Really re-watchable tbh.