The City Of Philadelphia Will Never Get Over Letting Jimmy Butler Go
Jesse D. Garrabrant. Getty Images.The year is 2048. The 76ers men's professional basketball team has just been eliminated in the 2nd round of the NBA Playoffs for the 29th time in the past 30 years. Meanwhile, 58-year-old Jimmy Butler has led his team to the Eastern Conference Finals and just put on a dominating performance to give his team the series lead.
Philadelphia doesn't technically exist anymore. The city had self-destructed after losing 15 championship games in a row. Sports talk radio doesn't exist anymore. There are just microchips planted in everybody's brain that allow you to telecommunicate with anybody in the area. And for at least the next couple of weeks, all anybody is broadcasting throughout the greater New Philadelphia Area is how the Sixers should have kept Jimmy Butler.
Say what you want about it being overkill for Philly fans to bemoan the choice to choose Ben Simmons over Jimmy Butler every single time that Jimmy Butler has a big moment in the playoffs. But it's not very often you get to see the absolute worst decision an organization has ever made come back to bite them in the ass in real time. Over and over again.
And just as a sidenote, Al Horford is a real piece of shit for eliciting this moment out of Jimmy. I mean it's bad enough that we have to watch Jimmy Butler lead the Heat to smacking the shit out of Boston to take a commanding 3-0 series lead. But for Al Horford to be this big of a dumbass to poke the bear?
Just a real swift kick to the dick for Sixers fans everywhere. Cursed for letting Jimmy Butler go. Cursed for ever bringing Al Horford into the building. Cursed for Colangelo's collars. Cursed for so, so many reason.