Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

The First Step To Rebuilding The Patriots Dynasty Is Obviously Belichick Signing Another Lacrosse Player In Dox Aitken

Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.

I don't mean to step on Jerry's toes here and take over as the Patriots beat writer. But let's all remember the key piece to the last two rings New England won. It wasn't Brady, it wasn't Belichick, but it was the fact that the Patriots had former lacrosse player Chris Hogan on the roster making a mockery out of every opposing secondary. The team played in 3 straight Super Bowls and won 2 of them when Chris Hogan was on the roster. 

The New England Patriots are 6x Super Bowl Champions because Chris Hogan is a 2x Super Bowl Champion. And ever since the Patriots have had a former lacrosse player at receiver on their roster? The team has been hot garbage. Complete and total dog shit. A joke of an organization. No offense or anything, but they haven't even won their division in each of the past 3 seasons. 

So what does Bill Belichick go out and do this offseason to rekindle that magic from 2016-18? 

Simple. He's about to do it all again by inviting Dox Aitken to rookie minicamp. 

Aitken won 2 National Championships at Virginia in 2019 and 2021. He then went on to play in the PLL where he's an absolute dawg for the Atlas. 

He's a freak. He's a specimen. And he's the key to the Patriots becoming the Evil Empire again. Anybody who thinks that he's a "long shot" to make the Patriots roster just doesn't know what they're talking about. Aitken could have gone to play football for Villanova after his lacrosse career at Virginia wrapped up if it weren't for a global pandemic getting in the way of that. Chris Hogan went from playing lacrosse at Penn State, to playing football at Monmouth, to making an NFL roster. Jared Bernhardt went from playing lacrosse at Maryland, to playing football at DII Ferris State, to making an NFL roster with the Atlanta Falcons. Dox Aitken could have easily gone from playing lacrosse at Virginia, to playing football at Villanova, to making an NFL roster with the Patriots. 

Honestly it pains me to write this blog. Because Aitken is a Philly guy. He grew up in Villanova, so it's going to break my heart to watch him win a bunch of Super Bowls for New England. But as the #1 journalist in the world covering former lacrosse players making their way to the NFL, it's my duty to report this one. 

So congrats to all you New England fans on the upcoming dynasty. And congrats to Bill Belichick for being the smartest man in football by realizing the best way to build a football team is to just load up the roster with lacrosse players. 

@thecreasedive

@JordieBarstool