FishCenter Live Is a Show That Not Enough People Talked About
I haven't been doing too many Blog Wheels lately, as they get an astonishingly small amount of clicks. If you're unfamiliar, I ask Twitter for potential blog topics, put the 8 best ones on a wheel, then write about whatever topic the wheel lands on. This time I'm writing about FishCenter Live.
Nobody ever talked about FishCenter Live. Or maybe it was talked about plenty, but nobody ever talked to me about it. I had never heard of FishCenter Live until this past Sunday when it was requested to me as a Blog Wheel topic. I'm fairly confident it's a show that I'm not going love, but will think is kind of funny and will be good for a few laughs. Unless Twitter user @MrVDog31 who requested this topic is lying to me. But I don't think a liar be able to amass 14 whole Twitter followers. If there's one thing I've learned from my short time at Barstool, it's that everyone on Twitter has good opinions that should be taken seriously and at face value.
I was hoping the Blog Wheel would land on this topic. Before I put it on the wheel, I did a quick YouTube search for 'FishCenter Live' to make sure it was a real thing. I watched about 30 seconds of an episode. The camera was zoomed in on a live fish tank, and the announcers were rewarding points to different fish for seemingly no reason whatsoever. That was all I needed to see. I was instantly hooked.
When I first watched a clip of the show, I was certain it was born out of covid. It has the vibe of a show that was created by a group of bored friends had been recently laid off. However, the show aired on Adult Swim from 2014-2020, then moved to YouTube during Covid before eventually running it's course and fizzling out.
To do this Blog Wheel, and to get the full FishCenter experience, I'm going to need to watch a full episode. If you're playing along at home, here is the episode I will be watching. I chose to watch the episode with the most views on YouTube. It has 102k views, which is only 8k views less than 'Barstool Investigates B** M****', so FishCenter is in VERY good company.
I will be taking sporadic notes throughout the episode
Notes:
- The episode starts with a view of the fish tank and a 7 minute intro that features a folk song I did not recognize. After the song ends, a woman in a thong dances off to the side for a minute or two. I don't think they ever explained why. I think she was just for our pleasure.
- The whole show is an up close shot of a fish tank that contains roughly 10 fish, a long eel, and a handful of crawfish that they drop down a tube.
- Apparently crawfish are food for fish. For some reason I didn't see that coming. I didn't think the fish were big enough to eat the crawfish, but the fish made light work out of of them. The long eel ate the other one. On the surface, seems kind of fucked up to make a show out of animals killing each other. But if you're a sea creature in a fish tank then your life is already over. They would probably prefer to die. Plus the crawfish are only in the tank for about a minute before they're murdered, so the audience doesn't really have time to get attached to them. It's mostly just cute to watch the fish eat. The fish are the main characters.
- Next they start taking calls from from the audience. I still have no idea what the point of the show is. The first caller ask the hosts if they like vodka. They answered, "Yes, kind of", then talked about bloody mary's for few minutes.
- About 20 minutes in, the whole thing feels like an inside joke that I'm not a part of.
- Most of the dialogue has been centered around vodka. Kind of like a vodka ad, but not for a specific vodka, just vodka in general. Like the 'Got Milk' campaign, except it's vodka.
- There's something called a 'Coint Quest' coming up. I think that's the main point of the show. I don't know how that's going to work, but I'm looking forward to it.
- 26 minutes in, someone calls in and offers to be the Adam Schefter of FishCenter. The FishCenter hosts have no idea who Adam Shefter is. Theyr'e the polar opposite of Steven Cheah. The same caller then offered to film an amatuer porn for them for some reason. Idk it was kind of all over the place. The callers kind of suck, but I think that might be the joke. It would be nice to have a show where if something sucks you can just say, "Yeah that's the point, it's supposed to be bad. Isn't that hilarious?!" That's the sweet spot right there.
- As I'm watching this at my desk, Frank The Tank has cranked out SEVERAL cameos. Which probably equates to a few hundred dollars in his pocket. I really need to start making better use of my time.
- Somebody just called into FishCenter and asked to be a guest on an upcoming FishCenter Live show and they just said yes. Feels like a great way to get murdered. This whole thing is basically just a call in show where we watch fish swim around in a fish tank. It actually seems like a great show to fall asleep to. Take that "compliment" however you wish.
- 35 minutes in and were finally getting to the 'Coin Quest' competition. They just showed a leaderboard of fish names with scores next to them. For some reason they're editing the scores. I don't have the slightest idea why they're doing that. Nothing point worthy has happened in the show yet. I don't know if it's something I just don't understand, or if the "scoring" is a bit that isn't supposed to be understood.
- Ok we're finally doing the 'Coin Quest'. I think I understand what the show is now. They put a camera on a fish tank, super impose some coins over the screen, then every time a fish swims past a coin they get a point. I can wrap my mind around that. It's a fish swimming/coin grabbing competition where they also take callers. It's simple, but it's good. Well… good enough.
- This coin competition is actually "electric" as we say here at Barstool Sports Presented by PENN Entertainment. There's just no way they're calculating these scores correctly. The fish are moving way too fast.
- A fish named Hamburger won the coin challenge. I'm regretting my decision to try and do a play by play of this. This can't possibly be a good read.
- After the competition, the sounds cuts out for about 10 minutes. When the sound comes back, there are 2 fish in the middle of a game of Connect 4. I never had the rules of Connect Four explained to me (due to the sound cutting out), but it appears they're chose 2 fish, and every time a fish swims behind the Connect Four board, they play a piece at random.
Alright I think you get the point. I thought I might get something funny out of watching that. Not sure if i did or not. Turns out when you transcribe a show it doesn't do it justice. It's mostly just confusing to read, and begs a lot of questions.
Here was the final scoreboard they showed. I'm not sure how it correlates with the original scoreboard they showed us before the 'Coin Quest' started, but it appears that Hamburger is the winner. None of it is explained very well, but I imagine it's something you would understand if you watched regularly. The score also just doesn't matter at all.
FishCenter Live is a show that sucks so much it's actually quite funny. That's my official diagnosis. But this was just one episode. Apparently FishCenter has some serious pull, because they've been able to land some pretty damn famous guest including Post Malone, Lil Baby, Billie Eilish, and my favorite 100 Gecs.
It's most certianly a show. If you're into the whole "so bad it's good" thing, then FishCenter Live is right up your alley. I'm still shocked I had never heard of this before, because those are the types of shows I love. Shoutout @MrVDog31 for the topic. I'm not sure if this blog actually gave anybody a good idea of what FishCenter Live is all about, but if you're ever bored and looking for something new, I would recommend giving it a shot. It seems like a great show to turn on with your friends after a night at the bar. I can picture myself blackout drunk cheering aggressively for a a fish named Greenbird to collect the most coins, or win a game of Connect Four.
Thank you FishCenter Live.