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<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>Describing My Dream Girl</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","63377"),htlbid.setTargeting("tags",["please-end-this","frank-the-tank","sketch","comedy","rudy","caroline"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["girl","life partner","career journeyman darin ruf","weird hatred","piece","military equipment","soda","meltdown","variety show","end","nickname","team","despise ketchup","fanatic","chew toy"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB17"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.36"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.43"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_negative","0.21"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
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        pbjs.setConfig({ pageUrl: https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/3465248/describing-my-dream-girl });</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js" async></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",(()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach((e=>e.play()))}))</script></head><body class="union__content"><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/9rcfski?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuM6gOW0kR8&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl"></a></div></div></div><p>As I'm about to turn 27, I've been starting to think about what I want in a life partner and a girl I can spend the rest of my life with. And there's a few key traits that I've come up with. She has to be a big sports fan. Like a fanatic who has full on meltdowns when her team loses. Maybe even has a chew toy or something she bites down on to get her anger out. She has to DESPISE the New Jersey Transit. Have a weird hatred towards career journeyman Darin Ruf. Loves soda obviously. Maybe reviews it. Despises ketchup. Maybe a nickname that rhymes with a piece of military equipment? I don't know just spitballing. But unfortunately it doesn't seem like this girl exists....Unless...</p><p>Watch full Episode 2 of our Please End This Variety Show here</p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/EFe5Y6G?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGUYCdNT63Y&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl"></a></div></div></div></body></html>

<div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/9rcfski?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuM6gOW0kR8&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl"></a></div></div></div><p>As I'm about to turn 27, I've been starting to think about what I want in a life partner and a girl I can spend the rest of my life with. And there's a few key traits that I've come up with. She has to be a big sports fan. Like a fanatic who has full on meltdowns when her team loses. Maybe even has a chew toy or something she bites down on to get her anger out. She has to DESPISE the New Jersey Transit. Have a weird hatred towards career journeyman Darin Ruf. Loves soda obviously. Maybe reviews it. Despises ketchup. Maybe a nickname that rhymes with a piece of military equipment? I don't know just spitballing. But unfortunately it doesn't seem like this girl exists....Unless...</p><p>Watch full Episode 2 of our Please End This Variety Show here</p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/EFe5Y6G?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGUYCdNT63Y&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl"></a></div></div></div>

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Describing My Dream Girl