Kat Timpf Says That Lacrosse Isn't A Sport, But Her Logic Is Wildly Flawed
My former colleague Kat Timpf recently appeared on the latest episode of KFC Radio. Now for the past several years, I've enjoy carving out a little niche for myself as being the co-host to the only lacrosse podcast within the realm of Barstool Sports. Technically speaking, The Crease Dive isn't under the Barstool umbrella of podcasts considering there are only a handful of you who listen to it. But I was hoping that one day we'd be able to build enough a large enough audience to reach that point.
Unfortunately, KFC Radio is now the #1 lacrosse podcast at Barstool with Kat leading the way. And now my dream is dead.
Now I'm not going to argue with Kat about whether lacrosse is a sport or not. I've had that argument with far too many people over the years, and have realized that those opinions are just never going to change. What I will argue her over, however, is her definition of a sport. The basis of her argument here is flawed. Because while Kat claims that lacrosse is not a sport, she then goes on to poetically describe it as "an arena of people masturbating to how rich their family is". Honestly, I don't think I could have come up with a better slogan for lacrosse in a million years.
But let's talk about the definition of a sport for a moment here. According to the big time definition guys over at Merriam-Webster, "sport" is a noun which refers to a "physical activity engaged in for pleasure". Now I don't know about how you guys do it, but I was always under the impression that masturbation is typically engaged in for the purpose of pleasure. And depending on personal preference, it can get very physical. I'm not here to judge, and neither should you.
So just going off of that definition, I'd have to argue that an arena full of folks jacking off would be considered a sport. It could be an individual sport or it could be a team sport. And if we're talking about being able to make money? Well the last time I checked, there are various websites worth billions of dollars that broadcast plenty of group masturbation videos.
If we're looking for the cold hard facts here--taking all opinion and bias out of the equation--masturbation is a sport. And through the transitive property, that would make lacrosse a sport by Kat's very own definition. Case closed.
We'll see you on Monday morning with a new episode of The Crease Dive.